Gonna stop writing here

I am writing here no more...

https://kindalostiam.blogspot.com/

[Jinq]

Changes

I always believe the only constant in this world is change. Over these years while I had 'disappeared', I have changed in many ways.

1. Alias

I have stopped introducing myself as Jino. Instead, I am back to my own name.

"Hi, my name is Jinq. How's it going?"

Any reason for this? Nothing particular. Do you agree my name is kinda cool?

2. Health

In a blink of an eye, I have joined the 30s club last year. There's nothing to proud of. I have failed in many things in life. I continue to be a disappointment to people around me. Somehow, warning signs of midlife crisis have become so apparent now I look like in my late 50.

More white hair than my usual black silky hair.

Backache is so often I groan in pain.

Low sex drive to a point my bf complains so much.

Loss in appetite.

Yet I put on so much weight.

My belly is so big it almost blocks me from seeing my dick.

Easily fatigue just by staying idle.

Constant breathing difficulty and chest pain.

Suffered my first migraine last year and it has become more frequent.

I know I am stress at work and I haven't worked out recently. I want to start swimming but I can't swim.

3. Social media

If you haven't seen any feed in your Facebook about me, that is because I had removed everyone from my Facebook friend list. Oh, that was a drastic move I did over my bf's insecurity in our relationship. The same goes to my contact numbers on my phone. There are only a handful of numbers in my Whatsapp. I still keep my Instagram for photos though.

On a brighter note, now I have more time playing mobile phone games.

4. Career

I have thought about moving up the career ladder for several years now. And so the opportunity is here. My manager asks me to go for it.

Should I just do what I am doing to get 5 figures pay? Or should I work harder and set my expectation higher? Or should I simply resign and move to other roles of lesser stress?

I am contemplating.

5. Togetherness

I miss the days I watched movies in cinema alone. I could apply half day leave from work and enjoy a sinful waffle in the cafe. Or just a random trip to overseas, anywhere, alone.

Those were the days. Now that he is around, this is never possible. Ever.

There are times I really want to be alone. This bit hasn't changed in me.

6. Friends

When was the last I met my friends? Probably twice in two years. Why is this so?

Mainly because he wants to tag along all the time yet his free time is so limited.

Trust me, he was extremely upset when I went out without him.

[Jinq]

Feel helpless

I am considering Uber driver for my side income in line to maintain my luxurious life and owning the house. 

Maybe working 3 jobs is too much for him to accept. I have commitment. I have debts to pay. I don't have a dad to pay me few thousands every month. My dad does not pay my car or house.

When it comes to money, I am alone. 

It would be helpful to keep quiet if you are not helping in this dire time.

Thanks.

[Jino] - A man's not a man unless he knows how to shoot

Catching up with friends

I feel guilty to prioritise my entire time on work and love, I neglected what I call friends. Most of the time I get their updates from Instagram but nothing more. And that day I felt the excitement to meet my friend and speak more about ourselves. 

I really love the waffles in Shugatori and I will try his pancakes. Despite a busy guy, he took his time off the kitchen to catch up with me. Gonna start promoting his cafe and make him busier.

I guess I really like meeting people.

[Jino] - A man's not a man unless he knows how to shoot

HPBD

Countdown in hotel with homemade cheese cake

 The usual slurpy chicken rice

 He prayed at Malaysia's oldest Chinese temple

The usual lovely cendol and laksa

The usual Nyonya dishes for lunch

 Enjoyed MYR 8 each ticket with Visa Checkout

 The usual Portuguese dishes for dinner 

 The usual crunchy popiah and overly sweet Nyonya dumpling

Random 

 More dumplings but this time was not the usual encounter

And a complimentary ride included in HPBD package

[Jino] - A man's not a man unless he knows how to shoot

To make a living

4) Work

Firstly, they dropped us a New Year present - we were not getting any salary increment. BOO!

A month later, we got our salary increment. Yay~ 

I have to admit that I got the fattest pay this year.

Then they announced that we were all gonna lose our jobs. Shit...

While everyone was busy looking for new jobs... after many had resigned... they withdrew the decision. We got to keep our jobs.

Now, nothing surprises me anymore.

After these fiasco, I could not decide if staying is a right choice. I didn't doubt the group's direction or decision. My career is marred by static progress. It has not been very satisfying for doing the same job for 7 years. I wanna get promoted. I wanna do something different. I don't like to be a people manager. I do not have leadership qualities by nature.

When I was about to give up my job, an opportunity knocked on my door.

You are going to Australia for a month to help out on a project.

I gladly accepted it. I was sure there were people who were happy and envious of my opportunity. My role would change for at least half a year. I am now involved in project instead of managing people. 

Have I mentioned I love sightseeing? 

While my career seemed brighter and more promising, there was only one man who opposed me from going Australia.

And that man was none other than Kizzai.

He was the sole antagonist in this dramatic play. I could imagine his frustration and we were very close to ending our relationship simply because of the large difference in our stands. Don't get me wrong. I love him. But opportunities don't knock twice. I was not ready to compromise this time and I was ready to go through this without his blessing and support.. 

Eventually, he watched me left. He must have realised how stubborn I can be. Fortunately, we didn't break up and I was grateful.

The project was far from completion. Towards the end of my stay in Australia, he dropped by and we enjoyed ourselves. Back in KL, I have a good staff who is able to perform better than me. It is a good chance for her career progression. Hence, I am now relieved from managing a team and focus on the project. I am not gonna complain for at least a few good months.

My Australia pictures are posted here.

[Jino] - A man's not a man unless he knows how to shoot

Hiatus

Lately I have been melancholic.

For almost a year I have disappeared, I am now writing again. And the first sentence is my negative feeling. Finally, a proper post written in Sydney. There're just too many writer blocks in KL. I find myself suffering time deficiency.

This post is merely an update of my life since my disappearance. If there is anyone who is interested to know more please let me know.

1) jino.ultraman.blogspot.com

There are many pictures from this blog were not found. I deleted one of my Picasa albums. Trust me, it was unintentional. While I have all pictures safely stored in my hard disk, I simply do not have the leisure to upload them again. Locating the right pictures for the right posts is a task too delicate for me who has poor folder management.

2) #1state1month2016

It was rather stressful to work without play. 5 days of full time and 2 days of part time were very difficult for me. The idea was to ensure I had enough rest every month. After every trip, I anticipated my next trip in 30 days! Seriously, every one in office was extremely envious of my travel plan.

Originally a travel plan for myself, I made it more inclusive ever since Kizzai had entered into my life. Little did I know many moons later we could not agree to the travel dates. I would not want to take leaves on weekend and find replacement for my part time job. He on the other hand would not skip classes on weekdays to risk his popularity among members in the gym.

Eventually, we gave in and compromised to bitter tears and thunderous yells. We managed to cross 12 states in 2016, calling #1state1month2016 a success. Pictures will be shared soon. Just click on the correct label.

• January : Penang
• February : Malacca
• March : Kota Kinabalu , Sabah
• April : Kota Bahru , Kelantan
• May : Kuching , Sarawak
• June : Seremban and Port Dickson , Negeri Sembilan
• July : Redang Island , Terengganu
• August : Perlis and Penang
• September : National Park, Pahang
• October : Langkawi Island , Kedah
• November : Ipoh , Perak
• December : Johor Bahru, Johor and Singapore

3) A rose every month

Money can be better spent elsewhere, but a sweet rose once a month didn't hurt as much as we thought. Guys love flowers as much as girls do. To watch him smile was enough incentive.

[Jino] - A man's not a man unless he knows how to shoot

Why do I choose to stay?

People make mistakes. I agree.

No one is perfect. Neither do I.

What I do is simply thinking of every good thing you have done for me. You have done a mistake but that is not going to discredit yourself. Not yet. The conscious recurring of similar, is.

I am not as forgiving as you thought. I expect changes in you. And I appreciate if you show appreciation in the relationship.

Do not be ashamed. Do not feel guilty. I never ask you to be perfect anyway haha.

[Jino] - A man's not a man unless he knows how to shoot

Your birthday...

...is important.

Dear Kizzai,

I could not plan much earlier 'coz I did not know your plan on your birth day.

Celebrate with family. That's your plan and nothing was definite till that day. This was what you said. Not knowing when you were free, where you would be, what time would you finish celebrating with family, yet you were not happy 'coz I had no plan. Stunned...

Anyway I am grateful you spare half a day for us. It took me only an hour to plan, thanks to my helpful colleagues.

Me : Can you suggest me a fine dining place?

DC : A lot. Do you want the ambiance or the food?

Me : His taste bud isn't great. Any food is good for him. Ambiance is more memorable.

DC : Marini is good. Marble is good. Lafit is good.

VT : What is your budget?

Me : No budget. Give me a place and I will call for reservation.

After discussion, we've settled on Grand Hyatt's Thirty8 at 8.30 p.m.. Then I rushed to the nearest salon for my hair cut. Finally, movie reservation.

Happy birthday dear.

[Jino] - A man's not a man unless he knows how to shoot

Third month

Dear Kizzai

I am never the perfect lover in the world.

I love garlic and onion.
I love durian.
I am still close to my ex.
I am not good in explaining.
I fall asleep very quickly.
I start to snore.
I bite fingernails.
I complain a lot on bad food.
I hate medicine.
I am always busy and tired.

To accept is not the same as to tolerate.

Though you have not accepted my flaws entirely, I must be grateful you are tolerating me.

Before I forget, it's best to write this down. We had a night of rough ride in Genting, thanks to the complimentary night stay. Then we celebrated Independence Day in Sunway GSC. Not a fancy celebration with you but I enjoy spending time with you.

Thank you dear. Happy 3 months.

[Jino] - A man's not a man unless he knows how to shoot

Throwback Genting

我有什么优点?

You have asked me the same question from time to time.

Your attention. You pay attention pf my actions and behaviour. So detailed I can hardly believe it.

Really? I did that? Sorry I don't realise.

Your time. Despite our tight schedules, you make arrangement to ensure we have enough time together.

Thank you.

[Jino] - A man's not a man unless he knows how to shoot

Birthday

It is obvious we do not have an entire day to celebrate your birthday. Our tight schedules do not allow us to do so.

Let's celebrate your birthday in Seremban.
That is a place you want to go. Not me.

Guilt.

Disappointment.

The 2 closest people to me do not support me as much as my friends and colleagues.




[Jino] - A man's not a man unless he knows how to shoot

Second month

My shift is at 5 a.m. and I am gonna post a quick update before I get my much needed sleep. At this rate, my writing is out of touch. Pictures are quickly replacing words.

In summary, we have been together for 2 months. 30% of the time were misfortune. We have to work out a lot on trust issue. He suspects that I am plotting some schemes to make him fat. You see, to be in love is to get fat together. Hey, I am gaining weight too.

Dear Kizzai,

Have faith in me.

White rose as symbolises purity. Then the sacred ritual.

Mikey's New York Pizza before love movie Me Before You.

The Shack in Bandar Putri, Puchong. Free refillable rice and drinks.

Bugalgi and Salsal in Kyochon, Sunway. Baked cheese rice in Wong Kok.

 Tea time in Whup Whup, PJ. Salted egg yolk waffle as night dessert in Inside Scoop.

[Jino] - A man's not a man unless he knows how to shoot

Another food trip

It was my ex-colleague's wedding on Labour Day. We didn't have to teach so we attended the wedding together in Alor Gajah and travel further down for food. This was our first trip, unofficially.

Shan Shu Gong.

Famosa Chicken Rice.

Nadeje.

One of the wall arts.

Portuguese Settlement.

We have decided Genting on 520 as our first trip.

[Jino] - A man's not a man unless he knows how to shoot