Gonna be an emo post

One side of my boss is very playful; he plays hide and seek in the office. Another side of him is very philosophical; he asked me "Use a word/ phrase to wrap up your 2012".

Silence is gold. Words are sharper than blades.

My new year eve, for the first time in the decade I went through the lonely day alone. Coughing out blood strips possibly due to injured throat and rising body temperature definitely did not set up the right mood to end the year. Things worsen when demanding people yelled to make me run his errand. Asking a sick man who is under medication to do the job? If you think driving after alcohol is bad, try driving with flu medication.

But human nature is unpredictable. Despite all my conditions I still obediently followed instructions and make sure I returned alive. Even if the demanding requester did not show any sign of appreciation, I forgave him. At least I tried to forgive. Wait! It doesn't make sense. If he does not apologise, what is there to forgive?

On the lonely eve when I was no one in anyone's heart, I dragged my weak body to the nearest clinic just to realize I lost my medical card and I had no cash. When I paid my bill for dinner, I palmed face myself as I should have paid the clinic bill with my credit card. I wasn't thinking straight, that is for sure.

You see, humans are cheap creatures. He may have belittled my presence and yelled at me for no apparent reason. I may not rank the first in his heart. If I am important I believe he will not abandon me to live through the rest of 2012. What I did was wiping my nose discharge on my shirt (I have no tissue). I coughed and sat outside of BR like a beggar waiting for a fortune. Given 630, I waited from 545 for about 3 hours. And then ordered his favourite (which is my least favourite) peppermint.

I hope you understand why the whole pint was filled with only peppermint when I can choose another flavour of my favourite. My message is simple: I can see that you are happy with your peppermint. But can you see me happy without any share of ice cream?

Anyway you only had 2 spoons of it and the rest were trashed. Nice.

Sadly, a love which bounds to domination and submission is not what I after. Happiness is not earned through ultimate gain from another party. I believe in the power of mutual respect, moderation and toleration in every long lasting relationship. I can eat peppermint and capsicum if you want me to. But my question is, will you drink vinegar and eat olives if I request you to? Knowing you for so long, I know your answer without you telling. You will not give in and you will not change. You will not try new things and you hold prejudice on them. You still think of yourself almighty with your final decisions and judgement. I shall keep my silence. This is how you play the game and you leave me no option.

I am tired of arguing every attempt to open you for new possibilities. I have lost confidence in myself and I can feel my words and influence are nothing prominent than your besties or whatsoever. Honestly speaking, you have lost my trust in many ways. I do not trust you in every word you say but I choose to believe. WTF? Ignore me please.

Silence is gold. Words are sharper than blades.

I shall not speak, as I have lost my only audience. An irreplaceable audience you are.

Welcome 2013 with more emo post. I doubt any one will understand what I write.

[Jino] - A man's not a man unless he knows how to shoot

Quarter 4 of 2012

It's clear I have been missing in action for real long. This is a combination of several overdue posts and current events; just exactly slackers like me always do.

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October

Birthday celebration is seriously my least favourite agenda of the year. Ever since I removed my date of birth from every social network, to my relief no one remembers my birthday. No Facebook, SMS and Whatsapp spamming. There are less than 5 people who remember my birthday while another 10 were informed 'coz they are important to me. What can I expect? Not even my family realized my birthday had passed.

Generally, my October weekends were filled with food and food, in the name of birthday celebration.

09 October 2012 - Ho Ho Steamboat, Sri Petaling with Khai.

10 October 2012 - Choong Huat Steamboat, Cheras with Bin Bin & Dragon Steamboat with Huskii.

12 October 2012 - Birthday e-card

12 October 2012 - Suki-ya, Pavilion with Max.

27 October 2012 - Secret Recipe, Leisure Mall with Boon.

This was my only birthday cake for 2012. I may have lost my sweet tooth, but this boy is so sweet to buy me a birthday cake and I cannot declined his treat.

27 October 2012 - Victoria Station, Jalan Ampang with Max.

Honestly speaking, the Victoria Station in Jalan Ampang is seriously lacking food quality, ambiance and customer service. I was really not happy with the meal that day. Please visit the outlet in PJ if you insist on Victoria Station.

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November

November was a month I saw extreme changes in DarkSac. He now runs 12% faster than he previously could. His HP doubled. He has a new attire. He has the highest survival rate in all dungeons. And most importantly, he has a gift pet named after the fattest cat, BuBuii. The only part of DarkSac remained unchanged is his insignificant damage output.

I can never grow bored with DarkSac, for I have invested a lot of my time and concentration on him. Of 'coz my mum is not happy with how I tolerated my health into computer games. But... oh well.

I love playing support because I get to save and help out my team mates. But I hate when they get multi kills thanks to me and don't even say thanks.

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December

Wedding is a complicated procedure to be together with the one you temporary love. Few years later the quality of love deteriorates and another complicated procedure is proposed. What was it again? Ah, yes!!! Divorce!!! On a lighter note, some people never divorce; either they are too dumb or they died too early.

It's my brother's wedding but I cannot imagine myself busy for him every weekends in December. You are right. Every weekend in December was his wedding. It's not even my wedding!!! And what're my rewards? Scolding and humiliation...

I wish you both happily ever after.

My latest look.

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[Jino] - A man's not a man unless he knows how to shoot

I will not give up

I am not sufficiently wealthy to be equal to you. You probably turn impatient at my running speed. The damage I deal is too insignificant that my skills are just hindrance. All I see in myself is nothing but a burden.

Honest be told, I wish I can do better than what I am capable of. The moment I set foot in this game, I swore that I would stay by your side as long as you are still playing. All other priorities are secondary to your survival. I would sacrifice all my damage to keep you alive while you can deal the damage on my behalf.

I am a noob and have limited experience in games. If you have decided to leave me one day, I am fine. I can live on my own. But I can never move forward without you. This describe me very well in the game and in reality.

Though with great regret you have chosen to abandon him, I will not give up on the characters I created. I am confident that he will come in handy in future. It's the matter of time he proves his worthiness. Watch him.

[Jino] - A man's not a man unless he knows how to shoot

To overcome one of my weaknesses (Part 1)

Part 1

The day was so depressing when friends scored A in the English paper while I was a laughing stock for scoring only C. As a man in pride, I made promises (to myself) that never again shall I be laughed at.

No journey comes without challenges. At first I thought it would be costly to improve my English. You know... British Council and all classes. Crap! But your blog motivated me so much back then (even now) and I still visit your place to get myself inspired. With some room of improvement, I am glad I have reached a level decent enough where majority can understand my English. Wee~ Never have I thought it could be this simple. What had I done differently? All thanks to the right attitude and discipline... and you.

Anyway that wasn't the point!

Now my next focus is to master the command of Chinese language. Lacking of exposure is definitely a drawback but is never a barrier. I place my next 365 days in bet to fully read a Chinese newspaper without flaw. Impossibru? Watch me.

What's your excuse?




[Jino] - A man's not a man unless he knows how to shoot

An arousing clinical experience

A fantasy story, do not over think ^^.

The visit was in September last year, it was so long ago I hope I got things right. Let's see if I can rewrite this explicitly.

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This was my first time visiting a doctor alone. When the nurse asked for my identification, I instead replied with the reason of my visit. Only when she pulled our her hand, I learned my mistake. I quickly handed my IC and ING card over. To my relief, the nurse did not practise active listening.

I came into the room and was tense to see he was a young gentleman in his late 20's. A nice looking guy with graying hair. He looked at me through his glasses and told me to sit down.

Well, it's very personal. I found blood in my semen, you know what I mean?

He looked at me through his spectacles and drummed his fingers on the desk.

Do you have various sex partners? Yes.

Do you practise safe sex? Not always.

Do you have sex with boys or girls? Boys.

Do you penetrate or were you the one penetrated? The latter.

When was the last time you had blood test? Never.

When did not you start to notice blood? 2 weeks ago.

Was there shred of thin blood or patch of blood? Patch of blood.

Was the concentration of the blood decreasing from each day? I did not take note on that.

Do you feel pain or burn sensation when you cum? The feeling is fine.

Did you stroke or squeezed too hard? I did it as normal.

How often do you cum? Once a month, or slightly more.

Are you having any pressure from family or work recently? Not that I am aware of. 

He paused and drummed his fingers again.

You know what? I'm going to have to ask you to remove those for me, ok?

I knew what was coming now as I heard him slipping on a rubber glove. The door was locked.

I shrugged inwardly, resigning myself to the inevitable,  I stood up from the chair and reached down to remove my pants. As I lowered my slacks, my now semi-hard boner sprang out. I knew I turned a few dozen shades of red. And I could feel an erection coming on against all my will to prevent it. The doctor definitely did not see any sign of undergarment on me put me into many fantasy. This only served to fuel my erection and it continued to grow to full size, pointing up to the ceiling as I stood still, waiting for next instruction.

To the bed.

Now there I was, spreading my naked crotch to him, with a now rock-hard erection. He moved between my legs, sitting on one of those rolling stools, and began to inspect my genitals, seemingly playing with my balls. I guess he was feeling for lumps or something. He felt all around them for about two minutes which seemed like forever to me. Then he reached under my balls and pushed up into my groin and asked me to cough. Everything was fine I guess. Then he reached up and took my penis in his hand and lifted it up and looked at it. 

He said that my testicles were fine.

Describe, young man. What's the proportion of the normal and bloody semen when you ejaculated?

The 1st few shots were clean, but the last few were stained with blood. This happened for more than a week.

When did you last cum? 2 days ago.

Can you do it again? I need you to provide me sample. Yes.

The doctor looked for a container in one of drawers while I quickly dressed up and hid my erection. Pointing at another door, he directed me to collect my ejaculation in what standard urine test bottle. I made a frantic request for an extra bottle before I enter into another room. Honestly I didn't take long to reach my orgasm and filled the bottles.

He held the warm bottles filled with clean semen high in his right, while the bloody one in his left. It was obvious he was focusing on the left

I need you to return for follow up next Monday. Ok.
Please come at night at this hour and I will be here. Ok.
Please monitor the colour of the blood if it has decreased. Ok.
Do not perform sexual activity with your partners for the moment. Ok.

There was a breath of relief the moment I stepped out the clinic. Still dressed in my work attire, I walked home with a pack of antibiotics in my hand. It was 1 a.m. and the street was empty. He refused to tell me anything and I was instructed to return for follow up next week. Another 7 days to endure the pain of waiting.

He's good looking!

[Jino] - A man's not a man unless he knows how to shoot