Intolerance

Title: Intolerance

Date: 31 August 2009

Painted by: Jino

Background:

Exactly as the title implied, our racial unity is as bad as my stomach tolerates chilli. One bite of chilli-associated-food sends my tongue numb. One more bite gives me bowel irritation. The third bite multiplies my daily number of toilet visits. Recently I found that I have intolerance to KFC as well. Sad.

In conjunction with Najis's 1Malaysia, I know this picture comes in handy to express my concern about our national unity. As long as BN's ruling, we're never equal and non-Bumis will forever remain second class citizens not only in Malaysia but everywhere in the globe. It'll be a repetition if I were to write more so I choose to skip.

If you ask, the real reason I had chilli as idea for painting was because of my dinner on Merdeka. It was cili goreng udang. And most importantly I have plenty of red colour left and expiring soon.

[Jino] - A man's not a man unless he knows how to shoot

Wrong words

Straightforward, free of ambiguity cut a lot of unnecessary craps. Bla bla bla~

Yet we have the tendency to only take in good words and compliments which may be cheap lies, so as to gain self satisfaction and motivation to keep living. At the same time we reject opinions and comments that oppose our pride and belief. If my English is only a slight better, I should able to recall the proper word for this kind of people.

What these people like ourselves hate the most are the people like ourselves who is straight. Or flimsy if it can substitute straight.

The ultimate peril of these straight and flimsy people is the inability to bend words and putar belit the truth.

Sadly I inherit the straightness from my mum.

One wrong word and he is offended.

Wrong way of expressing inner thought would cause a cold war.

Even when writing this, there will be people to find my words rather rude and offensive.

Be it love or friendship or seniority, let's face the fact that people are present oriented imbeciles deaf to the language of truth. We lie to hide. Honesty is destruction. Worse, we clean some shoes to achieve certain goals. Honesty and straightforwardness may need a twist to ease things up. Is this how we get things done or is this just life?

Speaking of which, I am a man of no word. Maybe I should just shut up and stop talking to avoid making things worse, agree?

Here I thought I've learned my lesson, which clearly I did not. I repeat the mistakes again.

Word's a double edged sword and might inflict injuries on the user himself. No, let's not speak unless you are razor sharp in the brain. You might just hurt someone without realizing. Shame.

[Jino] - A man's not a man unless he knows how to shoot

Rain/ 雨

I pause for a moment as the clouds wet the sky.




[Jino] - A man's not a man unless he knows how to shoot

从来不做的事

除了他的歌，基本上我都没听过其他歌手的作品。
我躲在小小的世界，聆听他温柔的音乐，解散痛苦和烦恼。
真舒服。


但最近我失去了自己，同时间也迷失了他。
虽然我已经ok了，对他的感觉依然没复原。
不像以前那么疯狂去追星。
也没再追他演的剧了。


要完完全全忘记人生一些重要人物是无可能一天做到的事。
他怎么说都还是我第一偶像。


我手上拿着从妈妈钱包偷回来的50块。
在新专辑档口面前犹豫。
买，还是不买？
最后还是把钱塞回去妈妈钱包。
放弃海报和音乐会入门票。
他是星星而我是在河边捞星星的猴子。
知道自己能力有限，觉得好累哦。


没后悔没买他新专机。
应为以前那种feel还没回来。
那感觉会回来吗？
等待那feel才买也不太迟。
要用自己的能力追星才有满足感。

不出我所料。他声音和以前一样的动听。
谢谢你。


Ouch!我的华语丑到！








[Jino] - A man's not a man unless he knows how to shoot

A blow that changes more than expected

We had another blow on the first night of November last night of October. I wouldn’t be sure if it’s related but surely, I wasn’t the same after that.

I believe it was your first time seeing me cried this emotionally. What you saw previously was nothing compared to that night. Did I frighten you? Be at ease. At least you were by my side that night, you shared my pain. Crying alone was worse.

People might think that you are the faulty one every time I cry. The truth is I am the loser who cannot take the pain and started crying.

I couldn’t remember to what we did that night. Why did we broke into argument? Honestly speaking I could not remember a single shit. I tried hard to recall but… to no avail.

My life was dull over the week. There is no up, there is no down. I cannot express, ‘coz I do not know what to think. For the past 7 days my mind was blank. I can’t focus. I can’t concentrate. I can’t like. I can’t hate. I can’t lift my muscle to smile. I am not at all happy or sad. Worse, sex and 林宇中 do not arouse me anymore. Either my mind is emptied I can’t think of anything, or my mind is too congested that I fail to think. I am confused.

At any rate, I could not find the inspiration to turn myself normal. Who is 林宇中? Who are they? Who are you? Who am I? No longer a mirror reflects my image. This entry is what you can expect from me who cannot think at all. I am dirtying my own blog with parts of my lost memories. I look awful down in the pile of mud. I’ve lost my style. In the extreme, I am lost in my own world. Weird, huh?

I thought watching Bleach can heal me. I also thought that by listening 林宇中 from close range, I can actually regain myself. I thought changing my blog template can refresh my mind. But I never thought not only had those failed to cure me, they did not at all attract my attention. Slowly I felt the negative elements surrounding me. Fatigue. Cold. And bored.

Is it possible that Jino did not buy 林宇中’s new album? Do you believe Jino stops watching 林宇中’s drama? Why is Jino not looking forward to attend 林宇中’s little concert in Genting? Jino is not supporting 林宇中? How is that possible?

Simple to say, he is not Jino. He became someone. Someone who is not him.

 
Well? What now? Has that night really changed me? Is it true I cannot return to myself when I cannot remember anything? Does it indicate that I need to recall everything in order to see myself? So you’re saying that I need to go through all the troubles to find out the problems that clouded me? It’s funny to think that I need to walk the opposite way when everyone is trying to forget their problems. Or can I not face the truth that our relationship has problem and I am in denial?

I have not confirmed what changes me. Am I tired of our relationship? Or am I sick of my unprogressive FYP? I don’t know. I only know that I am not the same and you don’t like it. I don’t like myself either. Whether the change is significant or not is not up to me to decide. Has the night taken me so backward? I will wait for your return and find a solution to my zombie-like life. I hate myself dragging my life like this.

I cannot continue writing as everything is so random I cannot piece them together at the moment. At times, I rather become emo than emotionless I am currently facing. It sucks. I am tired. Very, very, very tired.

 

 

[Jino] – A man’s not a man unless he knows how to shoot