Comtemplation of Merdeka

My midterm unrest was finally put to an end. Tarry no longer I picked up my painting brush for one last time before my finals crisis rings the alarm.

While every Malaysian was patriotically celebrating Malaysia's 52nd independence, little did I do to make the country proud. Corroding under the moonlight, hurdled several sky scrappers and slothfully reminisced the memorabilia was what I did for the night of Independence.

When I was in my mid school, the history text book was very discreetly written. The book did very well to cultivate the nobleness and dedication of the 52 years government to young futures, such as me. I was under impression that BN was the only option available for the government, and Malaysia will collapse if BN ever loses. The multiracial coalition BN had all it takes to rule and serve the country to another heights, to another level and to another future that we all looked upon. And many a times I adored the tolerance of these multiracial parties for the mutual interest of all people, I respect their self-sacrificing effort in maintaining the harmonious atmosphere.

Little did I know that I played right into government's brain wash.

Forget about parents and kopitiam gossips. Internet and newspaper are more than enough to clearly understand the true face of our government, the BN. In fact I always pay attention to politics in newspaper. Mother of all scandals - PKFZ, Altantuya's murder, 2006 AP, 'palace' of Khir Toyo, death of Teoh Beng Hock, ISA, Anwar's scandal, etc etc and more down the list. As if scandals are not sufficient, the popularity of politics even seep through our education system as well as business opportunities. How unsightful. Neither did the government or any politician realize that their political career victimized us, the civilian of Malaysia, young and old, male and female.

It is true that no one is perfect. As much as a scientist loathes perfection, I am not spared being imperfect myself. But we live on a principle to realize our own weak spot and improve from where we fell. Our government is not perfect. Our opposition is not perfect. But what makes me puke is the arrogant and ignorant government which does not admit to their own mistakes. BN has ruled the country for half a century. It is admirable that our country can still progress this far under the corrupted government. We've given you 52 years to change, but we're disappointed. Changes are so minute, it is safe to say they've not change.

Find the justice behind Khir Toyo's escape from punishment in public money misused for his 'palace' and Disneyland scandal, if you can. Yes he is not allowed in any contest in UMNO post. But is that all? Is that the best UMNO can do to bring justice and changes to the party? Why not kick out the biggest traitor from the party? That will help the rakyat a lot. "Saya tidak bersalah, tapi saya menerima keputusan tersebut dengan hati yang terbuka," said Toyo. *Vomit* Perhaps he is a big hit in the party, but shame on him. Shame on UMNO!

Politics. Politics. Politics. Our uni entry is limited by the 'transparent' quota, to ease up and serve opportunities to the Malays. Why must there a quota in the first place? Is the government trying to imply that Malays are stupider than other races that they need the quota for survival? Is it true that Malays are so lazy that they are not competitive enough, spoon-feed by government is a must for survival? I for one do not believe in any of these. But the government makes us to think that way. And I gladly abide by. Sapu arang di muka sendiri.

Try to look back at 9th Malaysian Plan. Recall the RM 10 million New Year bonus in 2008. MCA president Ong Ka Ting was so proud to announce that the government will give out RM 10 million to Chinese schools when he gave out initial sum of RM 6 million to 33 Chinese schools. But what is RM 10 million for more than 33 primary, secondary and independent Chinese schools when Abdullah the 5th PM can grant a special RM 23.5 million allocation to his alma mater, Bukit Mertajam High School? The school alone received a sum even larger than the development funds offered to all 105 Chinese primary schools in Penang, Selangor and Melaka. Yet, Ong Ka Ting was grinning in self satisfaction of what they'd achieved for the Chinese community. My question is WHY Chinese schools, or Indian schools which are in dire need of development funds for new schools are not treated equally?

Do I need to mention ISA here? PKFZ? Or the hilarious story of Altantuya's case swept under the carpet? We can go on but I will definitely not spend my time here writing every scandals and ugly deeds swept under the carpet. We know very well how government runs things. I bet patriotic Malaysians knows better than me in these.

There was once Mahathir introduced Wawasan 2020. One of the vision is to achieve bangsa Malaysia. A Malaysia entity that is representable. An entity that is unique as every Malaysia holds in value. But how possible can the dream be materialized if we are termed babi cina, asked to leave the country as pendatang haram? Bukankah kita anak Malaysia? "Keris ini nak mandi darah Cina!" A very touching, sentimental and eye opening speech by Najib to his delegates but a fearful, troublesome memory to Chinese. Is this Malaysia?

Politics in Malaysia is more than Korean and TVB drama available, in fact much better. It is kisah benar, live and free for all. We can see how grotesque can the politicians be, and how these hypocrites can be kind to pass around gula-gula to woo votes in elections. I sue you, you sue me, I kill you, you kill me, you babi cina, you babi melayu. Babi here babi there. Malaysia is turning ugly. Very ugly. Very unsightful. If they can put down their Ketuanan Melayu, I can guarantee we can focus on building relationship of people, fight the pandemic AH1N1 and solve economic deprivation, effectively.

Eii? My favourite Malay word is none other than babi!

Malaysia is a wonderful country. Where else can you find a country with 16 public holidays a year? Of 'coz, personally Hari Merdeka is no difference with other holidays. I simply can't find a reason to celebrate the ugliness of Malaysia. I still can't find any. I remembered very well my last Negaraku was in 2006's last school assembly. I guess once we've stepped out of school, we are no longer under the influence of government's fake impression.

The 2009 Merdeka theme is 1Malaysia-Keuntungan Didahulukan, Kenaikan Harga Diutamakan. I am lucky this year I'm spared from Merdeka countdown. I hate crowds. Such a good chance is best used to rest at home, cuddle on bed with my loved one and cook a meal or two for your in-law. The simplest Merdeka I had in my entire youth, was in 2009.

So long as the government is not changed, I can only remain as a second class citizen, anywhere. Not even my blood born place Malaysia will accept me as first class citizen. I am no other than other foreign PR. Has the true spirit of Merdeka went up in smoke along with the old generation? What does Merdeka mean to the younger generation? To us? To you? To me? Call me a traitor as much as you want. I am no patriots who will tell around my nationality. If there's anything I am proud of, it is my parents who raised me up well in this corrupted environment. The government needs changes by next general election, either changing from the coalitions internally, or changing entirely by losing the election.

Here, I crossed my leg in silent contemplation of the sky before me. Looking back how far Malaysia has moved backward.

Selamat Menyambut Hari Kemerdekaan Ke-52.

No point mentioning but still... The end of Merdeka is greeted by a hike of RM 0.20 in petrol. How sad. - edited and added 2 September 2009




[Jino] - A man's not a man unless he knows how to shoot