Work out

I've gained weight since I stopped gym in 2014. It was 2012 when I last saw myself in a swim trunks. Just recently, I ordered 2 pairs of trunks for my Kuching and Redang trip. God knows if I need to swim in those places.

Ordered from Totomomo.

When I tried the trunks... OMG I look horrendous. Baby elephant in thongs. That is how I look like in the trunks. Determined to run every day to slim down and fit into them.

Run in office gym.

The problem is, food always wins. Dilemma...

Fong Lye, The Gardens.

Starbucks in office and Sushi Tei, Setiawalk.

MISS Coffee & Toast, Puchong.

[Jino] - A man's not a man unless he knows how to shoot

Positive

A curse. A misfortune. That is how most people perceive when one is contracted and tested positive. If I learned that I am positive, I would feel scared, sad or even angry. It's going to be one of the most difficult news to go through in life. The stigma messes our thoughts more often than not.

Relationship isn't easy when positive. It requires honesty, communication, a profound commitment to the relationship. Not to mention a solid and mutual understanding of what they’re committing to.

I met this couple who had been together for 4 years. Yes they are positive. They talked about how they met and got together. The trips they went together. They left home after being disowned. They now own a house in KL. They work together to achieve their dream - go for more vacations. I can imagine the difficult times to be discriminated. But they shook their heads.

"We face the difficulties together" they said while holding the hands.

They made me believe in relationship once again. I learn to see things from the positive end (positive thinking). HIV is no longer a deadly disease. To me, HIV is the medium to build courage to believe. Believe that life is more beautiful when I am in acceptance. Subconsciously I become more forgiving. There is no need to remain denial. My confidence becomes the beauty I lack of. World is more beautiful this way. And most importantly, live a life you will remember.

p/s : I am still HIV- the last I checked in November 2015. - added on 17th February 2016.

Happy Chinese New Year.

[Jino] - A man's not a man unless he knows how to shoot

Resignation

I had my first agent resignation last month. The reason is not because I am not doing my job well or because the pay is not up to expectation. She is suffering health complication. In a span of a month her health condition turned from bad to worse. Professional surgeon in Seattle with 20 years of experience gives her 60% success rate.

For a girl to fight her emotion and fear of loss is seriously not a simple feat.

Have you imagined how you would like to spend the last minute of your life? I have not.

She left me her locker padlock on the day we signed all documents, which was also her last day in the office. 

Boss do you know the meaning when a girl gives you a padlock?

No. Any specific meaning?

Terrible la you boss. Go look up the Italy story on internet.

Boss will you keep this lock for me and wait for my return?

We made a promise to keep her lock till she returns.

Before she told me the bad news we were discussing on our motivation to work. Now I wish I am the motivation for you to keep moving forward and face the challenges.

[Jino] - A man's not a man unless he knoiws hiow to shoot

An arousing clinical experience

A fantasy story, do not over think ^^.

The visit was in September last year, it was so long ago I hope I got things right. Let's see if I can rewrite this explicitly.

 _________________________________________________________________________________

This was my first time visiting a doctor alone. When the nurse asked for my identification, I instead replied with the reason of my visit. Only when she pulled our her hand, I learned my mistake. I quickly handed my IC and ING card over. To my relief, the nurse did not practise active listening.

I came into the room and was tense to see he was a young gentleman in his late 20's. A nice looking guy with graying hair. He looked at me through his glasses and told me to sit down.

Well, it's very personal. I found blood in my semen, you know what I mean?

He looked at me through his spectacles and drummed his fingers on the desk.

Do you have various sex partners? Yes.

Do you practise safe sex? Not always.

Do you have sex with boys or girls? Boys.

Do you penetrate or were you the one penetrated? The latter.

When was the last time you had blood test? Never.

When did not you start to notice blood? 2 weeks ago.

Was there shred of thin blood or patch of blood? Patch of blood.

Was the concentration of the blood decreasing from each day? I did not take note on that.

Do you feel pain or burn sensation when you cum? The feeling is fine.

Did you stroke or squeezed too hard? I did it as normal.

How often do you cum? Once a month, or slightly more.

Are you having any pressure from family or work recently? Not that I am aware of. 

He paused and drummed his fingers again.

You know what? I'm going to have to ask you to remove those for me, ok?

I knew what was coming now as I heard him slipping on a rubber glove. The door was locked.

I shrugged inwardly, resigning myself to the inevitable,  I stood up from the chair and reached down to remove my pants. As I lowered my slacks, my now semi-hard boner sprang out. I knew I turned a few dozen shades of red. And I could feel an erection coming on against all my will to prevent it. The doctor definitely did not see any sign of undergarment on me put me into many fantasy. This only served to fuel my erection and it continued to grow to full size, pointing up to the ceiling as I stood still, waiting for next instruction.

To the bed.

Now there I was, spreading my naked crotch to him, with a now rock-hard erection. He moved between my legs, sitting on one of those rolling stools, and began to inspect my genitals, seemingly playing with my balls. I guess he was feeling for lumps or something. He felt all around them for about two minutes which seemed like forever to me. Then he reached under my balls and pushed up into my groin and asked me to cough. Everything was fine I guess. Then he reached up and took my penis in his hand and lifted it up and looked at it. 

He said that my testicles were fine.

Describe, young man. What's the proportion of the normal and bloody semen when you ejaculated?

The 1st few shots were clean, but the last few were stained with blood. This happened for more than a week.

When did you last cum? 2 days ago.

Can you do it again? I need you to provide me sample. Yes.

The doctor looked for a container in one of drawers while I quickly dressed up and hid my erection. Pointing at another door, he directed me to collect my ejaculation in what standard urine test bottle. I made a frantic request for an extra bottle before I enter into another room. Honestly I didn't take long to reach my orgasm and filled the bottles.

He held the warm bottles filled with clean semen high in his right, while the bloody one in his left. It was obvious he was focusing on the left

I need you to return for follow up next Monday. Ok.
Please come at night at this hour and I will be here. Ok.
Please monitor the colour of the blood if it has decreased. Ok.
Do not perform sexual activity with your partners for the moment. Ok.

There was a breath of relief the moment I stepped out the clinic. Still dressed in my work attire, I walked home with a pack of antibiotics in my hand. It was 1 a.m. and the street was empty. He refused to tell me anything and I was instructed to return for follow up next week. Another 7 days to endure the pain of waiting.

He's good looking!

[Jino] - A man's not a man unless he knows how to shoot

Core leave I

Related post:
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

My company practises core leave of 2 weeks. In another word, it is a compulsory 2 weeks holiday whereby company is not allowed to contact me for work related matter. 

My first move was a quick trip to Penang.

Then very quickly I had my 2nd teeth scaling in my life. The previous experience was rather scary I could see blood, blood and more blood from my gums. That was November 2008 I had the RM 130 scaling at Masjid India, an expenses that was totally uncalled for. As a poor student back then, I did not ask for the service. I WAS FORCED.

This time was no exception but now that the company provides dental treatment as part of employee benefits, I thought it's now a good time to perform some cleaning in my mouth.

I was dead wrong.

The screeching sound and the deadly scream from the dental clinic... is so frightening that my balls shrunk. Not to mention the pain and numbness the scaler inflicted. 

On a brighter note, my mouth is much lighter since most plagues were already removed. Perhaps I should consider teeth whitening.

The service by a dentist and 3 nurses followed by a toothpaste and gargle liquid costed this much:

It's a bomb if I couldn't claim from insurance.

[Jino] - A man's not a man unless he knows how to shoot