Sunday, August 29, 2010


On the 3rd day of training in HDP, ATTITUDE was the day's highlight as Jo Wan the trainer repeatedly stressed the enlightening word in her unpleasant tone.

"I don't care if you fail the assessment but I at least wish you will walk out this room with the right ATTITUDE."

To whom it may concern:

I was more than happy when you set your goal this semester to 3.000. What get on my nerve is the fact you sleep, watch One Piece, attend meeting and chant to cosmic energy more than the time you spend on studying. You resort to last minute revision and procrastinate to the very end. You are not helping yourself, who's to be blamed? I personally don't believe you can make it through if this is the ATTITUDE you display.

You complained and wanted your laptop formatted. Then you requested my help. You know I don't have much time yet you procrastinate. Instead of spending 3 hours of my available time to make back up data, you slept and did nothing. You know the consequences. Serves you right.

And many other cases when accumulated causes annoyance.

Everyone makes mistakes. But are you the type who learn from mistakes? Rumi the super boss in the organization said "There are 2 types of fools; fools who never make mistakes and fools who repeat mistakes". You may think they are trivial. But throughout the 2 years, there is no improvement I can give credit for. Very quickly, I reached my tolerance limit. My continuous advice did not reach you. Disappointed. You may hate me now but in the end you know that I love you.

Only if you display the right ATTITUDE, this day may not have to prevail...

I am sorry to Nicholas and Carpe Diem for rejecting the meet up today. Let's meet up some other day. So sorry.

[Jino] - A man's not a man unless he knows how to shoot

Friday, August 27, 2010


Trust and faith are essence of a long distance relationship. Not exactly true to say I lack both, but confirmation tests never hurt. Just to remain on the safe side.

He was informed to welcome me on the Wednesday. Instead I took a morning bus to Kampar on Tuesday (17 August). Only by surprise can his guard be lowered. To reduce chances of eliminating evidence, surprise is a wise option.

Upon entering his room I checked behind the door. Chances of someone hiding behind is high.

Then I allowed his wardrobe ajar. In case there are M or L size clothes or unrecognized underwear among the stash. Who knows if I have enough luck to spot someone hiding in the wardrobe?

Trash bin was thoroughly investigated.

Drawers were unlocked.

Every test shows negative result. A question remains. Is he the loyal and faithful type? Or is he from the genius family who leaves no evidence after crime? Either way, I am satisfied as long as I don't find out. This is how I place my trust XD.

p/s: An overdue post without special activity throughout the stay.

[Jino] - A man's not a man unless he knows how to shoot

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Alma mater

I do not know how true it is after I left, but when we were still students, we took the school image as our greatest pride. Unlike many on the streets, our students keep their shirts tucked in after school hours. Neat. Tidy. Smart. This is the first trait of a Victorian.

Any activities organized by Victorians require minimal, very close to no help from teachers. Teachers are present only on the actual day of campfire, contests, trips and meetings. They are not involved in sponsorships, decision making or planning. Clubs and societies in the VI are students-oriented where Victorians work independently, be it in curricular or co-curricular agendas. This is also a significant trait of the VI. Teachers, however, are important when signatures and approvals are needed.

Assembly in the main hall every Monday morning wouldn't be smooth if not thanks to the Victorians in blue shirts and white pants. These authorized Victorians were limited in numbers. With mere 20+ of them in the Prefectorial Board, the school discipline can somehow be 'assured'. Unique? Awesome, I would say. You cannot find this in many places.

My STPM was my busiest year in my life. It really was. I burned midnight oil for 3 months. I sacrificed 3 months of night sleep. I skipped all school classes and majority of Kasturi classes. No I did not sacrifice for studies. A Victorian endlessly supports the school he loves in many ways. I can safely say that I sacrificed my academics while invested heavily on the magazine. Yet I never complain. Never regret. From a silencer who is not known and had no reputation in the eyes of teachers, I was promoted to bear great responsibilities. Being appointed acting EIC of the VEB 2006, there were a lot that I learned in the short few months. From political struggle in the board itself, experience widened to dealing the hypocrites in the school administration. There were stress from the higher rankings, publishers and useless teachers. I had seen people with double faces in the board, in the admin office and in the staff room. As the leader of a board which managed the production of the school magazine, I (with the greatest support from my editors and committee members) had to take care of everything not only the principal, senior assistants, advisory teachers, but also government puppets, non-related teachers, students, publishers, sponsors, security guards and toilet cleaner inclusively. From my 1st editor I understood how honesty is insignificant in reality. I was taught to practice double standard. There were times I was required to sneak in the principal office and steal documents and risked being caught. Government puppets like kaki bodek a lot so I shamelessly be one to satisfy their needs. My secretary was there when I tried to hold my tears. This was where I gained my first touch of photoshop. I started reading and improving my English 'coz I overlooked News and Report Department and Literary Department. WTF? Why did I torture myself so much for my school? 'Coz I love my school. What did I get in the end? Nothing but life experience and lessons. It's worth.

95% of this cover was my design

Oh, those were my history. The past which many have forgotten. Nonetheless, upholding the honour and tasks as an EIC was my only option to repay the school for what she has done for me. My greatest achievement wasn't the STPM but was VEB. All in all, I am still proud to be a Victorian. Once a Victorian, forever a Victorian. I love my school.

VEB production team 2006.

Give a wise man instruction and he will be yet wiser.

Happy 117th Founders' Day.

[Jino] - A man's not a man unless he knows how to shoot

Wednesday, August 11, 2010


 An unrelated photo: Pinky red.

1. Google map to Sunway Giza - Tao.
2. Google map to Bangi - 1st interview.
3. Google map to Wisma - 2nd interview.
4. Google map to Intermark Tower - medical check up.
5. Google map to Cyberjaya - offer letter.
6. Google map to UPM - 3rd interview.
7. Google map to UTAR PJ - convo attire.

7 directions in a month. Google map is very useful, don't you agree? Exploring is fun (I am lying) ^^.

Aiks? My left cheek in the picture macam kena tumbuk dan bengkak >.<.

[Jino] - A man's not a man unless he knows how to shoot

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Close up to open out (Part 4)

Related post:

Friendship turned bromance

Have you ever come across the situation where you delete everything you wrote as draft beforehand, rejecting the entire content? I had done so. Rewriting in an hour was easy when emotions flow to no end. Whistling through the raindrops is a bonus.

We were in the same class on several occasions but not until you left comments on my Friendster that your presence was significant. The transition from stranger to acquaintance to friend began with attention - you made the first attempt for the friendship to develop. You remained a low profile boy without obvious p trait and as such, I had hard time determining your sexuality. Or rather, my gaydar was poorly functioning. That wasn't the main concern, I swear.

You were treated as equal as the rest to maintain a healthy friendship. While I was still attached (to KC), I did not expect nor request anything from you. Not to mention I never knew you're one of us, I kept my gayism low to not lose a friend and avoid punches from a straight, just in case. I was hell sure you were not more significant than others in my friends list.

But for awhile things weren't the same.

We knew each other on education level but we moved further. Gradually you shared me your family background, work experience, ambition, emotions, rants and everything else that I need not know yet wish to find out. When you confided your love interest and showed me the girl you crushed on, inside me was tearing.

Coincidentally our working places were arms length during semester part time job. I saw you everyday and we spent many lunches together. You could say it's fate. I believe it was. That wasn't enough to attract me. In an incident, willingly, you shared half of the donuts from your supervisor on your great sales performance. Honestly speaking, you didn't know how touched I was. My first taste on JCo donuts was thanks to you. In that instance, all too certain there was this guy that I was attracted to and I had developed feeling for. That guy, nonetheless, was you, XB.

I couldn't help to over analyze you endlessly and finished as a loser. You touched my hands in the cinema. We chatted all nights. You always stared into my eyes when we talked. You even invited me back to your hometown to do house chores. For the last month your attitude towards me had become even more supportive and caring. I was beginning to feel that you were looking at me in a different way, though I hardly suspect your intention.

Do you like me? Of 'coz you like me, but what are you looking for? You seem to treat me really good but are your intentions the same as mine?

Questions reversed.

Do I like you? Of 'coz I like you, but what am I looking for? Could it be that my feelings for you have grown into something more? I seem to treat you really good but is my intention the same as yours?

I'd been having very strong feelings of attraction and a desire for something more than friendship. The hardest part was deciphering the difference between someone wanting to be friends and someone wanting to be more, I get mixed signals. It was a tough call and I evaluated myself if I was ready to make my move, to take the risk. What's the worst that could happen? The fear of failure, the chance of awkwardness - these are few things that crossed my mind

Nothing could be further from the truth. On your birthday morning you were on my bed, an inch away from me. Your eyes fixed on mine when I adjusted my eyes to the light in the room. Bravely and randomly, without a second thought I pecked you on your lips at the same time robbed your first kiss. Almost instantly I clenched my eyes. We could have heard the pin drop. From the sound of your heart beat I immediately knew you wouldn't beat me. The moment of truth was here.

The confirmation you provided was reassuring but you were not at all happy to learn KC was in our way. Your patience allowed me time to plan and decide what I want. There's no pressure from you. Over time, your voices were my courage to step in the right direction (on how I eliminated KC, read Part 3). Again you prescribed me time. Time to recollect myself after breaking up. I wasn't strong as you think, however I didn't take long.

Almost a month I waited for the both to get ready. The day was 1st January, 2008. Fireworks graced the beginning of our relationship. Here, I thought you were the prince I truly waited for. Sadly, the fireworks did not simply witnessed my new found love. It was also the day someone unexpectedly expressed his love to me. That someone was not you. He was your new competitor.

I wouldn't give him a chance to ruin what I worked hard to earn. At least I thought so. But it didn't go well. We had been through so much together that it hurts just recalling a tiny fraction of the time we spent as a couple. It was at much lamented we ended 8 days later, while I easily succumbed to a new promising love on the 9th. No, you did no wrong. No, we didn't have argument. Yes, my heart had changed. Perhaps you will find that I'm trying to justify my decision to move on. I couldn't come out something better than crying to alleviate my guilt of ending this relationship. I have to sorry for being a jerk and ruined your first love.

What is bromance? Brother romance? Bad romance?

It takes only a minute to get crush on someone, an hour to like someone and a day to love someone. But it takes a lifetime to forget someone.

Too afraid my heart will change, the reason meeting new friends is my least favourite now is largely due to my inability to control the bromance recurrence and to avoid repeating history of increasing names to my list of exes. Of 'coz, yes to my lacking determination and brittle loyalty.

Hence, the stories of my exes end with this post.

[Jino] - A man's not a man unless he knows how to shoot