Wednesday, May 29, 2013

First Overseas Travel - Day 4 (2) of Pleasure

I know I should not procrastinate but when it comes to this part, I know very well that I can finish this post very quickly. The night was still fresh.

His lack of experience was evident when at the entrance he blushed to the receptionist and hid behind me. We handed 300 bath for 2 person and were given a towel each before disappearing up the stairs.

Where were we?
Sauna Men Factory. Google search for more information.

The changing area was similar to the one in KL. Lockers positioned in small alley and we stripped to put towels around our waist. Hold on a second!!! The towel was too small!!! I didn't remember gaining that much of weight. The towel was only good enough to cover my crotch. What the hell? Not too long then a guy walked down to the locker room, we realized he was wearing a pair of green brief.

Oh my gaga... I had never imagined a gay sauna that requires under garment. A total culture shock!!! I wish it was a naked party night but unfortunately it wasn't.

I guessed the management made quite a fortune from foreigners, 'coz my problem was resolved quickly. They sell underwear at very good price and surprisingly now that I look at it, the quality is good!!! I chose one which attracted my attention most; a pair of yellow TooT which I highly believe will not be used the second time. Don't get me wrong. The brief was nice but an extra piece of fabric is not necessary in daily life.

Facilities here weren't impressive. Sauna room, steam room, pool, shower room, private room and dark room were common. There are less than 10 people in the building and yet the only good looking guy here was busy sucking and getting sucked by Thais for few hours. He was from KL and has a big tool. How did I tell? He is my friend from Jack'd and he buzzed me after we left the building. Had we came here yesterday, the night wouldn't be this boring. If I were alone I was confident I will make full use of the night.

Did we do anything there? Nothing. Why?
1) It was his first visit to such gay site and he was nervous with the complexity of the building.
2) He is not an exhibitionist like me.
3) It's too dark and he can't see. Neither can I.
4) He can't even breathe properly without asthma inhaler.

Therefore we then moved on to our next destination where the actual fun began...

[Jino] - A man's not a man unless he knows how to shoot

Sunday, May 12, 2013

Close up to open out (Part 6)

Related Post:

The toughest moment

I finally found the time and inspiration to complete my writing. Supposedly this was to be published on Mother's Day in 2009. As life goes, I couldn't find the right piece in my heart that holds discipline to express my thoughts into words. Not really important though. This post is a random mixture of my understanding and perception to my mum whom I love so much.

Since her first encounter with KC, worsen by the phone conversation with his mum (when his mum told mine that KC's gay and warned my mum to be cautious), she had been suspecting and dropping hints. In my every attempt to meet my bf, be it KC or XB, there was need to create lies; white lies or bold-faced lies. All this, to convince her that I was about to meet my friends, to attend gatherings with classmates, more of sort to healthy activities - so that I would seem normal and not an orchestrated exit. Of course gatherings and reunions are bad lies. I can't be attending gatherings every day, right? That was when she started questioning my whereabouts; with who I went out with, how many people I was to meet, and also kept reminding me to come home early. She was a bit too much to call me every hours; with lame reasons each time. It's not something she would likely do in the past, but I can feel that my freedom was challenged.

I lied in everything she needs to know and never unravel the real 'who' I always went out with. Hanson? Ken? UTAR friends? U6BF? If she counted properly, I met Hanson and Ken 3 times a week, U6BF every week. I couldn't be sure if she never see through my blatant lies. But my mum was definitely not dumb to not suspect anything.

From Edwin and his family background, it implied that acknowledging a mum that her son is gay is similar to stabbing her in heart and stewing her liver. Although his story was encouraging, I couldn't gather enough courage to reveal myself. Not during the period I am dependent on her to live my life. I was in the middle of pursuing studies, you see. If I tell her now and so happen that we couldn't work it out, I will have to stop, everything goes to waste and I definitely didn't want that to happen. (Disclaimer: Now = that particular period of time, not now of the writing time) To tell her the truth is unnecessary. I "will" tell her everything in the future when my life is deemed stable. At least that was the plan.

But today (I mean that day), she hinted the clearest indication that she knows everything. Well ahead of the original schedule.

I still remember the previous day I brought him back home to pay my parents a visit and offered him my pillow for the night. I introduced him as Hanson's cousin. She'd been closely observing since the longest time and all the clues lead to the same conclusion. It had to be.

On the night of 16 February 2008 while sending Edwin back home, unpleasantly she called in urgency for my presence. There was something amiss here. She has always been a wise and gentle soul. It's safe to assume that something was wrong, probably she saw the websites I visited, or the movies that I secretly downloaded. But it's something more than those that led to everything exposed.

Upon reaching home I was dumbfounded by what she showed me (picture to the right) and sought my explanation. The surprise stunned me so long that the sound of silence in the room with only both of us could be heard clearly. Deep in my heart I felt angry 'coz she invaded my privacy by ransacking my files and pictures. On another side I was scared of what's about to happen next. Tried to choose the best words to cover up but could not tell out. Every time she stared at me, I looked away. The place felt like a tomb. Situation turned intense but I couldn't help to be total speechless.

"If you're not saying anything, I will start asking" and the next thing I remembered was she asked so many things and talked too much of which I couldn't recall all.
I've seen you doing this (picture above) long time ago. I've no idea to who you wanted to give but now I think I've known.
I could have denied any allegations, simply avoided all conflicts that might stir up unease. If I wanted to, I could deny that the present was for my other friends. But I chose a daring answer by a simple reply "Yes".

To be expected, her tone changed. Red in her eyes, there is long silence between each sentence...
Why are you so close to him?
You can't be meeting your friends everyday as you claimed. You were with him all time, weren't you?
- I nodded
Son, are you gay? - I nodded
What are you doing? Why do you become like this?
Your relationship is not natural. It will lead you to a dead end.

There's no future.
You can't get married.
A normal human is to find a woman, get married and have children.

You live in darkness.

He will cost you your life.

You will be infected by HIV and AIDS.

I have the responsibilities to bring you back to the right path. 'Coz I am your mother.

Do not see him anymore.
- I stood fortified, "NO" was my answer
He is not helping you. He is the devil. He will destroy you. - Was she taunting me? From here on I couldn't concentrate 'coz I was raging
Have you ever dated any girls? - I nodded
She might not be a good one.
Why don't you find another one?
How much do you know about girls?
Who knows the future girl is better than a boy?

Listen to me...
I am your mother.

Have I done anything bad to you before?
Everything I did is to make sure you grow correctly.

I have given you my best.

You have your responsibilities to the family.

Listen to me...
Change. And don't find him anymore.

Is there any mistakes in the way we raised you up?

Tell me where's wrong, so that we can correct ourselves.
Sadly, they were familiar to me on several levels. More or less the same I heard from stories by friends who first came out to parents. So much that I agree, deep inside I was angry at her negative stereotypes. A bolt of pain shot through my heart. I kept quiet during the whole monologue. Felt the boil in me but couldn't counter her claims - choked on my own words. It was so frustrating yet scary. Edwin kept texting me during the conversation but I couldn't reply. This is the toughest moment of a gay man's life.

We stayed in the room for an indeterminate amount of time. In the end of the last line she rose to her feet and we got ourselves buried our heads in the pillows, drifting to sleep. Too emotional and we couldn't move forward. Wrong words are often said in desperation. But I know you couldn't rest well. If not with everything that happened earlier, you could probably sleep soundly. She should be aching all over. I am weak in dealing with pain. So I prescribed time for her.

Ever since you forced my closet door open, I've been getting occasional outburst followed by silent treatments, more frequent overtime. I'd been ignoring her and avoided verbal contact as much possible. Arguments of big or small are spoil the day. There were times I wished she would leave me alone. But I know this was bringing us nowhere. For every argument we had will lead us back to square 1 - I am still gay. I wouldn't have came out to her if she didn't demand the truth. Now she discovered the truth not to her please and then she's been acting like that. She's so distant at times. Many said that ignorance at this point was bliss. It's better to leave her alone than to confront her at square 1.

But I think in long run, we need to solve our conflict anyhow. The truth that I am gay, the fact that I am his boyfriend, the reality that I love him. No more hiding, no more lies, no more excuses. I did not want to see us collapse. I took up my courage to initiate a constructive talk with her during one of the days before my 3rd sem finals. To understand the situation, to use proper words, to analyze at her expression, to time each word correctly, I channeled all my beliefs and ideas of what I had, in hope that she could absorb and digest bit by bit, slowly if not everything at once. With the help of google, these are the words that I gambled my life for. More or less.
I didn't choose to be gay. If I have a choice, I would want not hurt you.
He is not a bad guy.
My sexuality is not resulted from mixing the wrong crowd.
We both know of how much you have sacrificed to raise me up.
I understand homosexual is deem sinful and criticized in your era.
I am aware that you are trying to protect me.
I can feel you.

I want you to know I still can live a bliss life.
But I don't guarantee anything.
I never think of my sexuality as something disastrous.
But I will prove to you that gays will have good outcome too.
Gay relationship is not as complicated as you think it is.
We are the same as you and dad.
Just that we are boys.
I am fully aware of the uncertainties with the path we choose.
Yet I had readily braced myself for the challenges.
It's your call to walk with me or not.

Dating him will not affect my studies.
Instead we will help each other more often.
Why can't you treat him as another son instead to lose a son?
I am your son. I will not abandon you who raised me well for 23 years.
Your son did not grow as a robber or politician to rob and cheat.
Your son do not do drugs.
Your son is not an alien with green feelers and tentacles.
I am still a human.
More importantly, I am your son.
Why do you treat me with such awkwardness?

So what if my friends know?
If they are my friends, they will be as understanding as you to accept who I am.
Even if they don't, I hope you are not one of them.
I am not asking you to accept him as part of our family.
I am asking your kindness to see us and accept us the same as you treat others.
A human.
The society has been open minded.
They start seeing things from different lights.
We're no longer in dark ages.
They don't think the way you are thinking now.
So should you.

I know that you worry but the risks of AIDS are always there.
Do you think I won't get infected if I sleep around with girls?
Chances are the same. Homo. Hetero.
Believe me, I know more than you. I am a Science student.
I won't leave him. He's the one I love.
We're serious in this.
Yes I am selfish.
But I hope that you can bless us and approve us.
'Coz I don't want to let him go.
Please don't force us a life that you know well that I won't be happy with.
If you think we disgrace you, fell free to kick me out.
But I will still prove to you, me and him can still do it together.

I am sorry that the truth has to be cruel.
But it doesn't look like I have a choice.
The fact that I don't like girls is not my choice.
But I am not hurt 'coz this is my nature.
I promise, he is my last.
Only death can separate us apart and I shall prove with time.
Why be sad over unchangeable fact despite having a choice to smile that we are still a family?
If you happen to threaten me with your life, this is my last act as your son.
I really thank you for not doing so 'coz you will really put me in guilt.
No matter how you think, no matter what you do.
I still love you.
Perhaps we had allowed each other enough time to rationalize. That all flowed smoothly. The conversation we had stained upon my life greatly.

She read up materials on net on my suggestion regarding that. She did try exploring our world with intention to understand her son. With my brother's help, she's back to herself. Not only we're in good talking terms again, she started giving signs of acceptance and tolerance. We had lunches and vacations together on occasion. She was supportive which was evidenced by when new bf travelled to Thailand and Taiwan with me. And also his sleep over on occasion in her house. I don't expect more from her anymore. It's not her responsibility to do that. She's kind enough to accept me and not alienate our relationship. I am thankful that she really gave her best for me. You are my best mother I can hope for. To be your son, I am forever proud of.

Happy Mother's Day.

[Jino] - A man's not a man unless he knows how to shoot

Thursday, May 9, 2013

A quick trip to Melaka

Date:  27 April to 28 April

This was a food trip in Melaka and again pictures shall do the talking.

Lwee popiah with pork lard and coriander. 

Our hotel. In Chinese is 纯爱客栈.

 Interior design matches the name - Pure love tavern.

 Baba laksa and wanton mee at Jonker 88.

 Baba cendol and passion fruit ice kacang at Jonker 88.


 Paitee, Anak Nyonya Restaurant.

  Pongteh, Anak Nyonya Restaurant.

Chicken rice ball, Chung Wah. 

 Waited the damn popiah for 1 hour. Melaka Raya pork lard popiah

Nyonya zhang, same restaurant as the coriander popiah.

Melaka has not reached independence!!! Masih dijajah BN!!!

McD Sundae. I still boycott McD. 

[Jino] - A man's not a man unless he knows how to shoot

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Domino's Pizza

Good day Domino's Pizza team,

I had an online order for your Domino's pizza on the 25/04/2013 and the payment through credit card was successful at 05.28 p.m.. The order ID was 8278117.

I am writing this today to respond and convey my customer experience to above transaction.

I was waiting for my pizzas patiently that day. The pizzas were late!!! Nah that's OK, I have no issue with that. Really. All that I care was the pizzas to arrive safely, while they're hot and fresh from oven.

Knowing the rain was not pleasant and to ease things up, I prepare exact change for the delivery man. Two pieces of MYR 10 notes, a piece of MYR 5 note, one twenty cents and one five cents coins. Without a word, he accepted them and walked away.

Do you see where the problem was? It's ok. People as "smart" as I am found out 12 hours after the pizzas were down my throat. I immediately wrote an email to your team and explained my situation. To summarise, I paid with credit card upon ordering and again cash upon delivery. In another word, duplicated payments.

In the email itself I had highlighted that the cash was handed to him and I have no payment receipt from the delivery man. I know you may think that my claim was totally baseless. True enough, if you refuse to return me the money, I cannot complain much and nothing much I can do. My friends, knowing how "kiasu/ kiasi" I am, attempted to make me happy again by bringing me out for dinner. When I felt so hopeless, I receive a call that changed the evening.

Encik Jinq (that's how Domino's addresses me), sorry ya tadi hujan I tak nampak piza tu telah bayar. Nanti I balik pulangkan duit ya?

The delivery man, called me 7 hours after my email. And the hassle he had to go through to return my money exceeded my expectation! And I appreciate his integrity and honesty, though he could simply deny my claim and keep the money safely.

I do not know your name, I did not get from you earlier. Nor can I recognise you from just one glance. But who ever you are, I want you to be recognised by your manager/ supervisor/ person in charge of your good deed. The amount of refund may not be much to anyone, but the value lies in the morality of your staff who took the effort to resolve customer's mistake. I work in customer service and I understand the importance of recognition and compliments to any staffs in any industries.

This incident is a lesson for me. A lesson to tell me that money cannot taint the heart of a good man. Do not get me wrong. MYR 25.25 is not a hoo hah to me and I was about to give up had Domino's not refunded. I am sharing this 'coz Domino's impressed me. A lot!!!

Here, please express my gratitude and congratulation to the delivery man who attended my door house that day. He is the jewel in your group and I do not want him to be left unnoticed. Not to mention a manager who rang me this afternoon and check my satisfaction had done his job good by further follow up.

Kudos Domino's for your excellent pizzas and great staffs. You have left me a wonderful pizza experience, it's beyond the taste of marvelous pizzas. From this point, you have gained a new fan.

Thanks for reading

[Jino] - A man's not a man unless he knows how to shoot