I don't know what is this...

All this while, I thought working in VEB is fun and challenging. This went on until the end of the year 2005 and the beginning of year 2006 started to change my mind. VEB is not as easy as I thought it was. Involvement of teachers in the board worries me a lot. I have been staying in VI for almost 7 years. Naively, I used to think that all boards, clubs and societies were run by students themselves. I relate this to my experience in FKL. All scouts’ agendas except Campfire were planned and organized by our own people in the group, without involving any teacher. Campfire is our major annual event. We get permission to use quadrangle, to borrow mattress, to get signatures from teachers. Besides that, what else does a teacher advisor do? We managed to put up a great show to the audience from many schools around KL and Selangor, without any help from teacher advisors. What has Fadzlishah and Zuraidi have ever done for scout group? They did not follow us for Thailand Cycling Expedition, Mr. Mohan did. They didn’t follow us to Mt Tahan; they never follow us to GTKYC, which is good eventually… However, FKL was always in a danger situation, 'coz we did things our way, ignoring certain school rules and procedures. We sometimes did illegal things, such as SR, ‘ponteng’ for scouts activities, break into locked classrooms for chairs and tables and etc. Though Othman warned us many times, since when we give a damn bout him? We accomplished our objectives, without seeking help from teachers. Without any interference from teachers, our job is much easier and smoother. I don’t know if teachers are controlling FKL like teachers controlling VI Library Board now, but I missed the period when we did things without teachers. The sensation of freedom that I missed…

This is very different compared to VEB. My nightmare started when Pn. Vasantha became our teacher advisor, replacing Pn. Kamsiah and Cik Wan Mardziyah. Vasantha-Jaya combo during the 1st GM frightened me a lot. I felt that their presence in the board will bring disturbance, as they are trying to find out exactly what’s the board is up to, what are we doing currently. Vasantha wants us to report everything to her. She gave a lot of suggestions in the meeting, which I fear will corrupt our system. It was like G.Bush trying to conquer Iraq. Or maybe we can refer this to history, where ‘orang Inggeris’ (I don’t know what we call them in English) placed Residents as advisors to the Kings in every state in Malaya. That was the time when I thought teachers were trying to take over the board, I fear VEB’s fate will be similar to Library Board. However, during the meeting between the editors and Pn. Vasantha, I found that she shows dedication towards the board. She shows real commitment to the board. From that moment, I changed my mind to accept her as our ally, indeed, a strong ally.

She is on our side in almost everything, but we still hide some issues from her. Having her is not enough; Maimun and Anuay appear to be our problems. After winning RM 6k for getting first runner up in School Magazine Competition, Maimun suggested to build a so-called ‘sudut bacaan’ in one of the classrooms in F6 Block. Is she insane? She has gone absolutely cuckoo. Does she know that the money belongs to the board? It seems that she doesn’t care, her bitchy look shows everything. Thanks to Pn. Vasantha, she said let the board handle the money; the board will decide the fate of the RM 6k. The bitch thinks that she is a queen; she wants everyone to talk to her nicely, like a pet. She complains that VEB is working independently without referring to advisory teachers. Till now, I feel like jabbing her every time I see her. What does she know? She was absent for the AGM and 1st GM, and yet she wants to complain and expect us to work with her? ‘TAK TAU MALU PUNYA CIKGU!!’ She survives this long with such small liver, I wonder how. If there is a chance to vote her off from our board, I will raise up my legs as well.

13th April 2006, Lik Wen surprised me with Anuay’s speech during the Leadership Camp. Anuay mentioned that VEB is not ‘muhibah’ because there is no Malay in the committee list. He related this issue to the reason of why we lost to St. John in the School Magazine Competition. Total nonsense he had spoken of course. This has nothing to do with the race ratio. The problem arises when he mentioned to reshuffle the board a few times. Though no action has been taken yet, there should be a solution to counter this if the same issue is brought up again in any assembly or BOC meeting (let’s hope this is not going to happen). Though Ben has his point right, I think we must expect the worst to happen. Ben looked tired and depressed today (14th April 2006), a lot of things going round his mind. Ben, if you ever come across this, I can tell you, I can guarantee you, I will put in my 101% of everything I have to help you. But I can never accept or agree with the offer you have made. I want to work for VEB, produce magazines which everyone will ‘hayati’, not just flip through and throw aside at the corner of their room. But I can’t stop them doing that, so this is nothing to worry about. It’s just my wish not to see that ever happen again. I used to do that, flip through, look at my own pictures (there’s only 1, which is class picture) and then keep it nicely. Only recently when I joined VEB, I realized that when the hard work we have made is not appreciated, we feel sad and angry. Academic is another problem, it does not attract my attention as much as my computer does. Who love study more than Chu Chun Hong? I do not want to elaborate on these as it is causing me headache. This is not a normal dizzy, tiring headache, but a real headache. Feel like someone knocking my head.

I have no mood to correct my grammar and language, forgive my language. I have tuition now, its 8 am OMG… I didn’t sleep the whole night? I think I will fall asleep in tuition classes.

 

 

[Jino] - A man's not a man unless he knows how to shoot

When money plays its trick

8th April 2006, an unfortunate, costly event occurred. The RM 300.00 given by my mother which is supposed to be used wisely, is now gone, nowhere to be found. The large sum of money consist of my tuition fees, LRT fare and also my allowance. The RM 56.00 Amy gave me a day before that was lost as well. Without any idea of where I have put it, I searched every corner of my house. From drawers to cabinet to dust bin to refrigerator, the money is gone without leaving a single clue. I made an immediate report to my mother. She did help me find, but you should know what the result is.

I thought the money will reveal itself after a few days, just like my pen and eraser always do. Waiting anxiously for a week, it seemed that the money had disappeared. Initially I have no idea of what to do. My mother approached me and asked some questions which really hurt my feeling, even now. The questions were “Did you embezzle the money? I don’t understand where are the jig-saw puzzles, Starbucks, Streamyx bill come from?” Her questions stunned me for a moment. She suspected me, my darkest fear has come. She said I misused the money to pay back my friends whom I owned. I thought I am a loyal and trustworthy son, though sometimes I lied to her bout my homework and extra school holidays. Being torn apart by confusion and enragement, I do not want to explain myself (“Do not explain yourself”-Conrade during FRIM trip). I wish my parents or brother would have found the money rather than me. If not, I will face them with even extremely doubtful look.

12th April 2006 is the day when I think this problem must be solved at once. After planning a budget for April and May, I decided to withdraw 30% from my bank savings to cover up the money loss. This action disrupts my original plan to buy an mP3, spectacles and more jig-saw puzzles. The money does not worry me much, the relationship between me and my family does. After the incident during Chinese New Year, our relationship is quite bad. I do not want to point a finger to anyone, I do not want to think if there is any thief among us, I do not want to suspect anyone. I prefer to take this as my own carelessness, my own responsibility of failing to take care of my own properties, my own fault. And I swear not to simply place my money, I will not expose my money or valuable items to anyone. And I want to say sorry to Amy as well. I lost your money, but I had it replaced.

[Jino] - A man's not a man unless he knows how to shoot