Wednesday, September 30, 2015

Project 55.5 - countdown 68 days

Dear FY,

All this while I had been wrong about her. I guess coming out to her on my sexuality has taken a toll on our relationship. I studied hard so that I don't lose to my brother. We stay under the same roof. I inherited part of her DNA. However the obvious favouritism and stereotype crushed my ego. 

She does not recognise my definition of success. I am compared to my blood brother; career, family and finance.

All you do is wasting time.
You have no future working there.
You are becoming like your dad. 使家精。

You can't afford a house. No you can't! I don't want to pay your house with my "coffin money".

The month after, she withdrew MYR 50k for my brother's second house. She calls this investment. Yes I am jealous. Jealous of the positive acknowledgement she showered my brother. Jealous of her supportive moves on my brother's desire. On the other hand here I sulk about her favouritism. It's never in my nature to be looked down by anyone. I couldn't stand the double standard. It's painful to endure.

[Jino] - A man's not a man unless he knows how to shoot

Sunday, September 13, 2015

Project 55.5 - countdown 84 days

Dear FY,

Apparently the Visa application can be submitted in KL office.

The next step is to convert CAD with my entire salary this month.

While I was there to check the exchange rate today, I visited the Speedo we visited few years ago. There I stared at the fitting room and I smiled.

Pray hard,

[Jino] - A man's not a man unless he knows how to shoot

Wednesday, September 2, 2015

Project 55.5 - countdown 95 days

Dear FY,

You were definitely right that night. I am truly repentant for what I did that night. Without realising I neglected your feeling and spoke too much. 

If you would like to know... I was too afraid of losing you. I thought I had lost you too. There were times I wished to drug myself. I ached all over.

I don't wish to see us collapse. I turned to a moody beast...

... till you texted me again.

Again you accepted my shortcomings. Thank you for reminding my promise. Nine years, FY. Sorry to keep you waiting. This time I will not go back on my words. Thank you for the second chance. 

Flight ticket is ready. It looks like I gonna stroll down Singapore next week for my Visa. I have plenty of time to train my body and stamina.

We've lost lots of years. These 95 days will be awful. 


[Jino] - A man's not a man unless he knows how to shoot