Saturday, June 26, 2010

Gain and lost

Couple of months ago, an incident inevitably broke out. I almost lost you but we managed to keep the differences aside and moved on. That was at the expenses of losing interest on Rynn's songs, a rather surprising fact to a die hard fan like myself. His songs hold no meaning to me already. Many a time you requested me to sing. While his songs evaporated on the historical night itself, I couldn't do as you ordered. The very songs which I sang thousand times no longer sink in my brain like they used to. Without a second thought, all his posters and news articles were rid from my treasure box.

Unfortunately, another similar event took place last week. The previous post wasn't sufficiently informative so I might as well clear the mess here. This time as well, Edwin and I are still intact. Difference was, it was the interest to online that the event claimed. Simply put, I don't have the mood to online and this seems to last for more than a week. That explain my hiatus from msn all this while. In addition, my Facebook was deactivated accordingly. No hint that I will make a come back this soon. Undoubtedly, no change of heart but a change in me. Whether it is a good or bad sign is not me or you to decide. I blame no single soul for the change.

A brief update about me. My time is largely spent on Diablo and Diablo II. Hell mode in Diablo II is no joke. Even at level 98, I barely able to stand against Baal. Anyhow, my sorceress cleared her path and ranked herself the Matriarch. OMG playing Diablo at this age makes me so outdated. But it was pure satisfaction extracted when Baal disappeared into thin air. Now it's time to put other characters to test.

I read One Piece, 586 chapters in a month. Amazing, no?

Also, I am still waiting a professor's reply whether to absorb me as his master student or not. It's been ages already. No company approached me for interview. I was like an abandoned cat with despair eyes. If the situation persists by July, I have to force money to flow in.

Few bloggers have privatized their blogs during my hiatus. I don't have right to question and they don't have to entertain me. Who am I? Feel childish if I approach them. I was stunned a while for not being informed. I prefer to think of it only as a misfortune rather than ponder their true reasons. Surely, it is none of my business but it disheartened that I wasn't invited to read. The puzzled feeling... eh eh eh? With full respect I supported their decisions. If I can read that wouldn't be called privatization, right?

That aside, I had my 1st anniversary recently. An anniversary of a friendship. He couldn't coincidentally approach me like that. He must have done his homework properly. I can't be wrong. I appreciate his sincerity very much that we celebrated with sushi. Hopefully we will meet some day.

Cucumber and egg maki

[Jino] - A man's not a man unless he knows how to shoot

Sunday, June 13, 2010

I don't want to see you anymore

I had been doing a lot of thinking last night.

The faint weep of dismay danced at the edges of my hearing, kept me from gaining much needed sleep.
Small elements when periodically amassed resulted uproars in the equation.
Chances are, my tolerance knows little bound.
Patience means self-suffering.
So speaks Gandhi, and so it is written.

In my ranting, I had slipped my intention - the title.
We exchanged more tears as we drove home.
After all, it is a break up line I don't wish to tell in contrary.
After what we'd been through.
I devoted every ounce of my being taking care of you.
The title - saying it had been an exercise in frustration.

12 of June, 1752 hours.
Both rings were in my pocket.
You finally left with tears.
Freedom? No more sadness?
I had made the right decision, I suppose.
But this was tearing me up inside as well.

Tragically, Jino became single.

However, the existence and all legends about you have since then been undeniable without exception.
The feeling of sorrow was not all the remains in the 886 days we spent.
Someone once said, a relationship is not about changing anyone to what we want.
Personally, I find true love as something that doesn't happen in an instant.
It is a building process.
It speaks the truth about relationship.

Someone says the relationship we have is immature.
Many don't believe we could last.
My mum tried to separate us.
I introduced you to my friends.
More importantly, you are my bf and my bf.
How could I not recall these moments in the idle night I thought I was thinking deeply?

Why don't you strengthen your heart.
When I believe you have more reasons to stay together than to part?
Your love is not worn out.
Not yet.
'Coz you have made promises. Many promises.
Says he, who enlightened, via msn.

An hour later.
My jelly mind was finally straighten.
Once again I placed my trust.
I believe this love will stand the test of time.
Back on your finger, I placed the ring on its righteous place.
I give my thanks to you. Now I am stronger.

Jino was single, and then attached.

Isn't this story, dramatic?

[Jino] - A man's not a man unless he knows how to shoot

Friday, June 4, 2010

Not so alone

Little did you know, I begin to love quality time for myself particularly the lacking of this somehow draws a great margin of incompleteness and incompetence, from me. Thus, without Edwin sticking his nose around me, I made some suggestion (to myself) on how to spend the time for myself without him, without friend or without family. Not many were supportive though, mostly were critics, I traded them for a moment and a place where I would be left alone and thought to find solace. Hey. Just because you can't stand loneliness, you don't label us insane.

Transport availability and equipments when taken into consideration quickly discarded many options such as waterfalls and jungles. My mum was shocked to learn my last minute plan, more surprised when I revealed my intention to go alone.

Up the peak, what caught my attention most would be the stiff breeze that clouded my vision. I exhaled to have a split second of what's in front of me. And then I couldn't see anything again. For that mystical instant I waited an hour to appear again but sadly it's not likely happening. That was a glimpse of sight I hope to experience again.

But seriously, I never imagined that a simple walk like this was capable of returning series of flashbacks, to when I was still actively attached to KC. Ermm... After all KC was the first to introduce me what Genting was. He made me walked with him and spent unnecessarily when both were barely loaded to feed ourselves. How would I ever forget the RM 150 donation he forked out from my wallet on stupid mattresses? Never had I expected to pay RM 100 for a cheap, blur, 20 shots instant camera. Those unbearable pain!!!

Only good looking guys deserve a place here.

Bukit Jalil to Genting: RM 5 bus (An aunty offered to buy at half the normal price)
Hainan tea O in food court: RM 3.50
2 bowling games + shoes: RM 15
Sundae in McD: RM 4.15
Starbucks: RM 19++
Prince of Persia: RM 12
Waffle: RM 4
Bus to Titiwangsa: RM 6.60

My next target is to hunt Asam Laksa and Char Kuey Teow in Penang, alone. Whether it's happening or not, is another good question.

[Jino] - A man's not a man unless he knows how to shoot