Corporate experience

Dear FY,

My job revolved mainly around my direct manager and my self interest till a year ago. I didn't have to worry how my boss's boss thinks. Other staff did not matter as long as I can go home on time. There's no room for work when I am home. Never had I thought of returning to office to finish my work.

Well... that was a year ago.

My boss's mood swing can kill. There are 7 colleagues now I need to work with. I am managing a team of 10 staff where their performance and discipline are my responsibility. Not to mention I have daily routine to entertain 90 other staff which is not part of my job scope or responsibility. 

A staff of other team look for me for leave approval. I have to look into it.

A staff asked me questions on procedure. I have to follow up in the end?

My team member is sick and did not turn up to work. I have to check on her.

I picked up the phone and other team member is sick. I have to check him out.

That girl is in toilet for 20 minutes. I have to find out why.

This guy has given wrong advise. Why am I saying sorry to customer, not his manager?

Within a year, a pea size salary increment had me dealing so many people. Returning to office on weekend is part of routine 'coz of my incompetence.

I am an introvert in nature and I should not be dealing with so many people to begin with. Decision making is my weakness. Judgement is my area of development.

Why am I here, FY? I feel lost now.

I have not found the satisfaction to come to work. To describe my feeling now, this is exactly how I started in the organization: I hate coming to work.

From,

[Jino] - A man's not a man unless he knows how to shoot

Towards the dream

Dear FY,

Dreaming is one thing. Working towards the dream is one thing.

I never have a real goal in life. Even if I do, it never last long.

My first churros experience was a fascinating one.

The right place.

The right environment.

The right climate.

The right person.

Without realizing I have been actively looking for churros in KL, to recall the wonderful memory I once had.

The right place.

The right environment.

The right climate.

The right person.

While my time was mostly spent on Facebook and mobile games, my first move is to watch videos in Youtube. My colleague said this is self realization.

I have made my second move last week. As expected my talent does not lie in kitchen but I am satisfied. Satisfied that I have courage to make my first move.

From,

[Jino] - A man's not a man unless he knows how to shoot

I am thankful

Dear FY,

Exactly like you and me, we started from blog. We left comments in our posts then we moved to MSN and later whatsapp.

Without realizing he is the one I look for when I am depressed. He was the first to know when I broke up 'coz he was here when I need a hug. I received cards and gifts on festive seasons from him. I draw him sushi on every anniversary. He showed me support in all my decisions. You can find his picture in my wallet.

He is some one so special I could not repay with just thank you.

Little did I know it's a gift from god when we know each other. Hugs.

From,

[Jino] - A man's not a man unless he knows how to shoot

A not so rendezvous

Dear FY,

When you said you wanna spend a day with me on 27th, I took it so seriously I reserved 3 days just for you. You see, I was merely planning ahead for the unexpected so I thought 3 days were good. Christmas movie... Boxing Day hang out... I refused to join any.

Oh no... you were out of town. Change of plan. I cleaned my room in hope you will drop by. Unlike 2 years ago, this time my room was ready. 

It appeared our rendezvous turned up days later but I was very delighted you could make it before you return.

In the contrary to my expectation, that night did not end on a high note. The dinner was a mess. I screwed our dream.

My feeling faded as time passes. You barely respond to my text largely due to the time difference. Your voice could not reach me this far. Pictures are not as frequent as they used to be. Or I would rather say, you have stopped posting.

Do you know, FY? I too did not realize I miss you this much till you held my hand. I was very emotional to be truth. There was an instance I wish we could keep driving and our hands locked to each other. Perhaps driving aimlessly in the silent night would be good. We were closer when we were in the car. Don't you agree?

I tried my best not to cry. Sorry FY that I am soft and weak. I simply could not hold my tears. My tongue tasted bitter. My heart ached till I stopped breathing. Well, breathing part was exaggeration... But in reality I had few sleepless nights.

Can't be sure if I get it correctly... your smile was kinda sorrow. Perhaps you were just too exhausted with the trip.

Anyway I am really thankful you spent your precious time with me. Such memorable night to end 2014 and surely your words will be my motivation to kick start my 2015.

Dear FY,

My feelings are real. You are always beautiful in my eyes. Hugs.

Yours truly,

[Jino] - A man's not a man unless he knows how to shoot