Sunday, October 11, 2009

The cry of birth

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Do you remember the first day you came into this world? It's a happy event for every parents in the world to cherish the great moment. Giving birth can be the most lovely experience to you and your partner. Of 'coz it's a disaster if you are an accident.

While you were first created from the race to the egg, you probably started blaming the ones who brought you to this uncertain world. In the 9 months entrapment in her stomach, you were kicking hard, begging for release.

When the time was right, you finally came into the world where light reached you for first. Instead of happy being freed, you greeted the crowd in the vicinity - operation room, house, taxi, street, or even toilet bowl; with nothing but to cry out a storm. Your mum who sustained unbearable pain had not cried as loud as you. Your father who had to pay substantial medical fees had not shed any tear. The doctors who had to dig you out from the womb had not complain the long hours of sweat. But. This is the cry everyone was waiting to witness.

A cry of birth.

You came here with nothing but soaked in blood. It doesn't matter to them. You cry the whole day and it doesn't matter. The heavenly smile you smile is the reason everything doesn't matter.

As we grow, we hold grudges. Many wishes and demands are not fulfilled. The toys, snacks, visit, games, tv and play time are not attended. Hate them.

Ever since I was a boy, I was trained to obey rules. And to study hard. I live in a family who does not allow 80% below in exam. Yet my survival is the 'proof' of my effort in academic (I changed after Form 4) but I am never academically interested. My mum did not help explore my talents. How I wish I can play a piano or violin. How I wish I can swim like a fish. I wish I can dance like David Copperfield. Sounds so salah. Oops. The pressure to excel academically weighted on me. What stuff can I do other than studying? But I do not blame her. Little did I know when I was young, that the 'dirty job' was meant to build me a road everyone walks, to a brighter future of opportunity. To a level of acceptance. Thank you for kicking my ass, now I appreciate the knowledge I gained.

In the manner of humanity I was trained to respect disregard the age. Foul words are prohibited in my family. I remembered the Friday in 1998, Michelle's mum complained my sexist attitude in class. Boom! My mum exploded and whipped me with a rubber hose over something I was trained not to do. I held my body in pain as she babbled. In my heart I cursed Michelle's mum for making me miss Flashman and Maskman on RTM1. It's 2009 already. Let the past be past. Now I appreciate my mum in educating me the importance of manners and respect. After all, respect and self-sacrifice are the elements that give my name 敬贤.

 

All boys grow hair at places and time differently. Compared to others, my mum was late to loosen her grip, holding my quasi-freedom to the late stage of maturation. "Ish! Why do you have to follow me to my friend's house?" "Why can't I do this, go there, buy this etc etc." Sounds similar? You may hate them on first thought. Over time as we grow, their good intention builds the character of who we are. Again I thank my parents for that.

To celebrate the date of birth is not to celebrate your birthday. Rather, it is a date to remind us, of how much our parents had contributed and the sacrifices they made for us. And more importantly their unconditioned love for the cry of birth. All they had done is none other for you. On how are we going to repay them for these, is what we should do on our birthday. Instead of doing birthday wish, you should work hard on fulfilling your parents' wishes.

I am sorry mum I am not able to marry and have children that you wish to see. But rest assured. I will live a happy life without those. I am a grown-up. I am no longer the little boy you can force through the way you want. Allow me to choose my path from here on, ok?

Many thanks to you mum and dad. Happy 22nd Birthday to Jino 林 Jinq 贤 ~

 

 

[Jino] - A man's not a man unless he knows how to shoot