Monday, February 8, 2010

That loneliness was totally uncalled for

The previous Saturday was fine. My mum was about to head off to Midvalley for Woohoo 大日子 with my brother when she asked if I want to join them. What for? I have no purpose there and I am sure they know how to enjoy without me. Imagine paying movie for less a head, paying lunch for less a head, car burden less a head. The more the merrier does not apply 'coz I am a minority. 

Anyway, I had plans in my head for myself.

From the day I addressed you as my bf, there was no once I enter a cinema without you. Never without holding your hand. But on the fine Saturday morning, 11.50 a.m., I marched into hall 7 of Pavilion GSC. For first, my hands were empty. 

Before the Avatar started, I took some glances around. On the right of B05 were a pair of couple, aged in their late 20s and dressed in couple shirts. While 2 seats away from my left was a cute young school boy with his mum.

Our hands never let loose. I can feel the tightened grip of your hand in some scenes.  Especially the horror movies. Your hands kept me warm when I was cold. Occasionally I looked at you, just to learn that you were staring at me too. Your smile, can be very sweet and cute at times gave me no reason to not lay my lips on yours. I sometimes tried to flee open your zippers but you insisted to do it at home. Hmm... But these were lacking on the fine Saturday morning.

Watching movie alone in different status: single and attached; gave 2 different experience to me. I've tried both. Avatar was a nice movie. Too nice to be true I would say. Only if you were here, the day would be better. We would drop by Krispy Kreme. You have your weird weird donuts while I have my standard Original Glazed. Somewhere in a corner of Pavilion, we would recall the scene where we argued till I cried and then laugh like an idiot. All because you entered my phone pin number wrongly for 3 times. It was so trivial but we put up a good fight. Not to forget eye candies session. Our tastes never meet. All your lengzais are Grade C in my list.

Simply said, I am a spoilt brat who is too used to holding hands in the mall. To be fed when dining. To your voice. And the manly odour when you sweat. The excitement when you see cute little children. You are so extraordinary to me that I won't want to try with others.

While I always stress to the singles of how wonderful and lucky they are to remain single for longer time, here I totally fail to feel the pleasure of being a one-day-single boy. I am saturated with your bliss of relationship, to certain extent I don't remember how to enjoy singleship. With the passage of time, you have become part of me. Separation kills. Yes, I am slowly killed by the distance.

I miss you so much, words are not able to describe all.

[Jino] - A man's not a man unless he knows how to shoot