Happy New Year 2010

There are times one must learn to let go, even if you put a great show of reluctance. My eye lids will slowly slide shut and falling over from boredom if I post the draft I prepared earlier.

Going by the amount of words, I give up my draft and sinfully put aside to rewrite one shorter and sweeter.

To make it short, I wrote about my friends remain single. Even if they are attached, they won't last long. After they're through 3 months, tears are what last left for them. Why can't I find someone who is trustworthy, who is attached, who can at least share my happiness and sorrows when I need some shoulders to cry on or an ear to listen to? Most of the time I questioned myself, why am I so lucky to have a good lover when they have hard times looking for the right one? I admit I've been down occasionally as our relationship entered different phases, but I manage to brush aside the grievances and start over again. 'Coz I know in my heart, there is still you no matter how heartless I may be.

Hei I just habis gaduh with my bf.

Ya ya ya don't show off. I am single.

... Sorry to disturb.

Most men simply enjoy relationship more than singledom whether for the comfort, companionship, or the consistent orgasm. I understand that as much. Not only I never have the experience of being lonely, unable to find a lover, affair etc, I have never been dumped. They are right. I can never understand their feeling if I am a spoilt brat who enjoys happiness all time. All the time I did nothing but to listen and give pointless comments and reasoning. I can't help blaming myself when the barrier is strengthened and our gaps are widened. Maybe as a friend I can only do that much. My deepest apologies.

I am impressed I manage to stay in my relationship for so long. There could not be a possibly a better one than to wish for everyone's health, but what's health if you have no companionship? What's 100 years of life without happiness and love? What's eternity when you are lonely? Can't say I was looking forward to the day they meet their Mr. and Mrs. Right. And then make me jealous with their relationships and laugh over the sweet memories they had.

活到100岁

作词：林宇中

作曲：林宇中

Happy New Year 2010 and may my friends find their lovers at the soonest time. Appreciate what you have in hands and cherish the given moment before the end.

If I have the strength... Let not the song befall on us.

To Xiao Bai, Ricky, Kenji, Brian and Ryan, felicitaciones for your recent new found love.

[Jino] - A man's not a man unless he knows how to shoot

Christmas?

Speaking of Christmas, believe me, it is nothing but a public holiday to me. Say, whether it is an auspicious or a normal day, don't try to be Scrooge in The Christmas Carol. You may not have a lover to go through your days. But trust me, you always have family, friends or colleagues to celebrate with. Even a dog can do the job. Just don't feel lonely as the negative feel draws darkness.

As for me, Christmas is still a normal day. Nothing has changed for the past 22 years. For the first time, I wish my friends in my phone list via sms. It's not something I would do in the past but this time I have too much credit left. Alright maybe I overdid it a little. Hopefully my sms did not ruin your day.

Steamboat dinner with family on Christmas

A selfish wish from me - I wish she will nod her head after seeing my gels next week, marks the end of my final year project. Please?

May you guys have a blessed Christmas. Merry Christmas, folks. Stay happy and brace the days.

[Jino] - A man's not a man unless he knows how to shoot

Irreversible chemical reactions

December 20 2009

Many biological reactions proceed in both directions at the same time, attaining the result what we term 'equilibrium' of both reactants and products concentrations. Thus the reversible reaction.

While a lot of reactions are reversible, there are also countless irreversible reactions on Earth. Given example as below:

And some compounds are destined not to react from the beginning.

The chemistry law of love is no different from applied sciences.

I know that sometimes people don't mean to hurt each other or make mistakes. After all it is human nature to make mistakes and stumble over hurting to you or by the person you love and trusted most in life.

Of 'coz there are mistakes that are obviously wrong you've done by accident. There are a lot of mistakes - big ones, small ones, horrible ones. Some mistakes are easier to forgive than others. Mistakes, when replied with apologize results forgiveness, is a reversible mistakes.

While we make a lot of mistakes in lives, there are mistakes so serious that both parties are scarred. Eternal scars. Trauma. It's so serious that when the scars cannot be undone, it is an irreversible reaction one cannot just forgive or tolerate even if time is prescribed. There is absolutely nothing I can do to change the thing I've done in the past. No matter how much I make a silly face, change the subject or wittingly humour it, denials are not welcomed.

A lesson is learned but the damage is irreversible. Mistakes in love will not go unpunished.

It doesn't matter how respiration resembles the reverse of photosynthesis, they are two different cycles. One involved light and dark reactions while another involved Kreb cycle. One in chloroplast and one in mitochondrion. Just a general comparison but... nevertheless they are different kind of reactions. Isn't love the same? I tried to reverse the mistakes that I made but the outcome is never the same as before. The little differences are what instilled in you, which inevitably haunt you.

Costly mistakes in relationships can indeed cost you your cherished partner. Simply put, a crime, once committed, is difficult to erase. When resentment sets in, the type of emotions that is irreversible even if I tried so hard, can be reversed? No.

The hardest smack in love is losing trust. The lost of faith is not simply rebuilt with sorries. The doubt and suspicion forever hunts. I am sorry.

[Jino] - A man's not a man unless he knows how to shoot

护廷十三隊十番隊隊長 - 日番谷冬獅郎 (Part 3)

Related post:

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Well, today is the young prodigy's big day - birthday of Hitsugaya Toushiro, captain of the 10th division in Gotei 13. Another tribute to my beloved anime character whom I adore so much. His exact date of birth is not mentioned in the series, but we're all the same. No one actually remembers the exact date of birth. You just have to believe the date that someone you trust tells you. It doesn't really matter if it's real. The fact that you know your birthday is already a sign of happiness. - Aizen (sources: Wiki). At the very least Hinamori together with Matsumoto and Aizen celebrated his birthday on the roof top on this day 20th December. If Aizen isn't a bad ass, he is really a great man.

What makes him so cool is his appearance besides his strength at young age.

Ask me how well I know him. My answer is I remember everything. 133 cm, 28 kg, silver hair, genius, talented and much more to explore about him. If you are a die hard fans of Hitsugaya, you will notice that he and Ichigo are the only shinigamis who carry their zanpakuto at their backs. Soi Fon has a different way of carrying. Forget about her. Well, he is definitely popular for enjoying some form of fan service.

He spent his childhood in the 1st district of Rukongai, known as Junrin'an. He lived together with his grandmother while Momo Hinamori was her only friend there. He is always nicked as Shiro-chan by Hinamori, in reference of his silver hair. Both of them form unexplained relationship and share many things together, to the extend that Hitsugaya would do anything to protect her. After 5 years Hinamori left for Seireitei, Hitsugaya encountered Hyorinmaru in his dream, just to realize that he too has Shinigami's power. Assisted by Rangiku Matsumoto who is now his lieutenant, Hitsugaya joined Gotei 13 in spite of his age and quickly became the youngest captain in the history of Soul Society. All the more he was also the youngest shinigami to achieve bankai, earning him a dubbed name of Boy Genius by many. Up to now I am curious to know who was his predecessor. Is it Ichigo's father? Highly suspicious.

Despite his appearance, he is very mature and serious in conducting his duty as a captain. He lives on his principle of righteousness and responsible to protect Sereitei. On another side, most of the time he is short-tempered when he is deemed childish or mistakenly mistaken as a child, much to his annoyance. His sharp intuition led him the first person to suspect of Gin's foul play and betrayal but fail to suspect Aizen for the same.

Enough of his history. What really amused me the most is his abilities and strength at his age to rise to captain level. However, many says he is not as experienced as other captains and his power is not fully developed. Therefore his power is not at his peak. Anyway he is strong and earned my respect ^^.

Hitsugaya's zanpakuto is Hyorinmaru, released by the command 'Sit upon the frozen heaven'. It is claimed to be the strongest ice element zanpakuto, making him to able control water and ice as well as weather freely. Anything that Hyorinmaru cut will turn to ice.

Spiritual power resemblance Hyorinmaru flows from slashes

The chain-blade connected at the hilt freezes anything it traps

Daiguren Hyorinmaru reflects Hitsugaya's ultimate, flowing of ice into his body forming 2 wings and a tail attached to his body while 12 ice flower petals floating behind. His bankai enables Hitsugaya to fly freely in the sky. The ice dragon wraps his arms gripping the blade, whose guard has changed into an 8-pointed star. The petals will slowly degrade in time, probably denoting the time limit of his bankai. Supposedly when they all disappear, he becomes vulnerable and is no longer able to suppress the injuries he sustains with ice, due to his incomplete bankai at young age. That was what Shawlong speculated. But during the battle with Luppi, even if it's shattered, it will reform as long as there's water present. - Hitsugaya. Throughout that battle, there is no ice petals spotted. Now I am confused, what's the ice petals for?

One of Hitsugaya's most prominent skills is Ryuusenka, literally dragon hail flower (left picture), a move which Hitsugaya dashes at his opponent at high speed, freezes any enemy he stabs. By that, enemy is locked in a cocoon-like ice, just to be easily shattered instantly. He demonstrated it in the Arrancar Arc while battling Shawlong Qufong in Karakura Town and in Zanpakutou Rebellion filler while battling materialized Hyorinmaru.

Secondly is Sennen Hyoro, literally thousand years ice prison. Sennen Hyoro is an attack which forms ice pillars from water in the surrounding atmosphere, traps and freezes opponent in the pillars. However the weakness of the powerful move is that he needs to buy some time to build up this finishing move. Which means he can't use it directly in one-on-one fight. That is unless he has a helper that he can depend on. He performed this skill once when battling Luppi in the Arrancar arc during second arrancar attack in northen Karakura Town.

Next skill is unexplained. While battling Tia Halibel, he came back to life when he was supposedly chopped in half, leaving an after-image of ice. Either it acts as illusion or double body, it is yet explained by Kubo Tite. Hitsugaya claims that he can only use this once in the entire battle, one can assume that the skill is very valuable.

The after-image broke off, Halibel was shocked

Guncho Tsurara literally icicle flock (right picture) launches multitude of ice shards to impale the opponent.

Tenso Jurin is Hyorinmaru's most basic power yet the strongest. All water under the heaven is his weapon. For the first time Hitsugaya used his never-seen-before power - Hyoten Hyakkaso (frozen sky hundred flowers funeral). 100 snow petal falls from the sky and blooms into flowers on anything it touches. Instantly freezes enemy into a flower-cocoon like ice. When all 100 petals fall, that marks the end for the enemy. He spoke about his first attempt using this technique in bankai mode, where he was unsure if he can keep from killing everyone around or control it.

Both techniques were used against Halibel. Halibel was caught in surprise to his techniques. But she is not defeated by this technique. Too bad he sounds so confident with his finishing move.

Hitsugaya is made strong, 'coz he's popular and probably Kubo is under pressure not to let him die. Otherwise his fans will kill him before he even has the chance to leave Japan. Just my personal opinion ^^.

Thumbs up to Kubo Tite for bringing Hitsugaya to life. You have done a wonderful work and I hope you can keep on the good job. I would really like to see him more in action. HAPPY BIRTHDAY HITSUGAYA TOUSHIRO!!!

[Jino] - A man's not a man unless he knows how to shoot

Ultraman kept busy

Monsters keep popping out. Ultraman is busy fighting monsters. Die, 富贵们. Die, Bleach. Die, blogspot. Die, traffic jam. Die die die. Diew diew diew.

1. Lottery

My dad kena lottery 2 weeks ago. Although it's just a consolation RM 180, he was so happy and told us the good news. My mum asked him to buy a DVD player with USB connection so that she can watch all her downloaded dramas on TV instead of computer. Guess what? They went out, 3 hours later back with a 32" LG LCD TV, at the price of RM 1800 after discount. What the fuck? Did he kena RM 180 or 1800? After double confirm, my dad failed maths kao kao 'coz the lottery was only RM 180.

2. Tagged

Yin Koon tagged me for my Christmas wish list. Honestly I wasn't excited for Christmas or any celebration. For me everyday is the same. Someone dies. Someone is born. Christmas is no different from the normal days we're going through. Abstractly, I wish I have a better outlook, clear of acne. I know this is impossible that is why I say abstractly. Concretely, I want to replace my 'injured' CRT monitor to an LCD. Can I use the LCD TV as my monitor? Need technical opinion from you.

3. FYP

FYP itself isn't giving me stress but the people around are. The repetitive 'stress' by my comrades which weighted on me for a month, is finally lifted. He happy, they happy, I happy, everyone happy? Hopefully.

4. Fibres

Counted what I had for my meals, I was lacking fibres down my gut. Blame the 'stress'. So dinner for today was big plate of broccoli goreng cauliflower. Few minutes later my tunnel was smoothly cleared!

5. Addiction

Kind of addicted to Mike lately, he is quickly running out. Need to re-stock soon. Trust me, Mike gives good pleasuring skill and I assure you his top-notch service.

6. Love

I believe we've entered into a new phase of relationship. Some say it's the boring phase. I term this stable phase. We still tip off arguments here and there but the big ones are reduced. Less ill-tempered already. We've finally exchanged roles for once. And most importantly I am glad we are still together. But considering the rate of spending, I won't have enough for our anniversary. Suggestion?

Why do I wake up so early to post, you say? Ya just finished fighting a toilet monster. So get ready to check out my 20mM complex has fully dissolved or not.

[Jino] - A man's not a man unless he knows how to shoot

21st and 2nd birthday to him and him

December 03 2009

The temperature was a lot colder than it was outside where the sun was showering the drizzles.

It was his birthday and his birthday:

1. Edwin

Taken on 5th January 2008 in Sunway Pyramid

2. DSC T-2

Both boys celebrated their birthday in Sunway Pyramid, one of the memorable places where my life changes. Let the pictures do the talking, shall we?

Lunch in Subway

Tea time - XXL Crispy Chicken + Takoyaki

3D is never a good choice for a movie. Expensive and inconvenient.

I fell asleep from the spirit of past to the spirit of future.

Dinner was at Ole-Ole Bali, a sister restaurant of Bumbu Bali (Puchong).

Es Campur + Honeydew

Grilled Lamb Chop - ultra big portion!!!

Ole-Ole Trio - super big portion!!!

7th floor - just to show my new hair cut

Dinner was a guilty one 'coz we couldn't finish everything. We left 2 chicken wings and half piece of lamb untouched. Sadly, I don't have extra cash for cake after the meal. Other than that, we were very full and hope they had their superb, wallet bleeding day with me.

[Jino] - A man's not a man unless he knows how to shoot

My English is so very the powderful

It was long ago I use English as a language to converse other than in presentation. It is time to realize that my English is bad, especially in daily conversation. One is Kenji (few months ago), and then Dexter (an hour ago). These English educated people whom I met recently speak good English. Not to mention they are good looking too. It never come to my attention me so low and weak compared to them. They don't use bombastic or poetic or philosophical terms, but the way they converse actually surprised me and I was fascinated at their choices of words. Honestly I never feel this bad till I speak to them face to face. Simple yet polite while my English pasar doesn't match, so to speak. Of 'coz I don't have problem understanding them, somehow I feel low standing next to them. They must be thinking I speak weird English.

Ben and Denise speak good English too. But as we speak, they lower down their level so much for people like me to understand. To think that our difference is this much bothers me. It's only fair I blame myself for being weak. I tried not to think of this but that was proving difficult. What other ways can I improve if people around me mostly use Chinese as intermediary language? Ok I will start reading from today.

[Jino] - A man's not a man unless he knows how to shoot

Intolerance

Title: Intolerance

Date: 31 August 2009

Painted by: Jino

Background:

Exactly as the title implied, our racial unity is as bad as my stomach tolerates chilli. One bite of chilli-associated-food sends my tongue numb. One more bite gives me bowel irritation. The third bite multiplies my daily number of toilet visits. Recently I found that I have intolerance to KFC as well. Sad.

In conjunction with Najis's 1Malaysia, I know this picture comes in handy to express my concern about our national unity. As long as BN's ruling, we're never equal and non-Bumis will forever remain second class citizens not only in Malaysia but everywhere in the globe. It'll be a repetition if I were to write more so I choose to skip.

If you ask, the real reason I had chilli as idea for painting was because of my dinner on Merdeka. It was cili goreng udang. And most importantly I have plenty of red colour left and expiring soon.

[Jino] - A man's not a man unless he knows how to shoot

Wrong words

Straightforward, free of ambiguity cut a lot of unnecessary craps. Bla bla bla~

Yet we have the tendency to only take in good words and compliments which may be cheap lies, so as to gain self satisfaction and motivation to keep living. At the same time we reject opinions and comments that oppose our pride and belief. If my English is only a slight better, I should able to recall the proper word for this kind of people.

What these people like ourselves hate the most are the people like ourselves who is straight. Or flimsy if it can substitute straight.

The ultimate peril of these straight and flimsy people is the inability to bend words and putar belit the truth.

Sadly I inherit the straightness from my mum.

One wrong word and he is offended.

Wrong way of expressing inner thought would cause a cold war.

Even when writing this, there will be people to find my words rather rude and offensive.

Be it love or friendship or seniority, let's face the fact that people are present oriented imbeciles deaf to the language of truth. We lie to hide. Honesty is destruction. Worse, we clean some shoes to achieve certain goals. Honesty and straightforwardness may need a twist to ease things up. Is this how we get things done or is this just life?

Speaking of which, I am a man of no word. Maybe I should just shut up and stop talking to avoid making things worse, agree?

Here I thought I've learned my lesson, which clearly I did not. I repeat the mistakes again.

Word's a double edged sword and might inflict injuries on the user himself. No, let's not speak unless you are razor sharp in the brain. You might just hurt someone without realizing. Shame.

[Jino] - A man's not a man unless he knows how to shoot

Rain/ 雨

I pause for a moment as the clouds wet the sky.




[Jino] - A man's not a man unless he knows how to shoot

从来不做的事

除了他的歌，基本上我都没听过其他歌手的作品。
我躲在小小的世界，聆听他温柔的音乐，解散痛苦和烦恼。
真舒服。


但最近我失去了自己，同时间也迷失了他。
虽然我已经ok了，对他的感觉依然没复原。
不像以前那么疯狂去追星。
也没再追他演的剧了。


要完完全全忘记人生一些重要人物是无可能一天做到的事。
他怎么说都还是我第一偶像。


我手上拿着从妈妈钱包偷回来的50块。
在新专辑档口面前犹豫。
买，还是不买？
最后还是把钱塞回去妈妈钱包。
放弃海报和音乐会入门票。
他是星星而我是在河边捞星星的猴子。
知道自己能力有限，觉得好累哦。


没后悔没买他新专机。
应为以前那种feel还没回来。
那感觉会回来吗？
等待那feel才买也不太迟。
要用自己的能力追星才有满足感。

不出我所料。他声音和以前一样的动听。
谢谢你。


Ouch!我的华语丑到！








[Jino] - A man's not a man unless he knows how to shoot

A blow that changes more than expected

We had another blow on the first night of November last night of October. I wouldn’t be sure if it’s related but surely, I wasn’t the same after that.

I believe it was your first time seeing me cried this emotionally. What you saw previously was nothing compared to that night. Did I frighten you? Be at ease. At least you were by my side that night, you shared my pain. Crying alone was worse.

People might think that you are the faulty one every time I cry. The truth is I am the loser who cannot take the pain and started crying.

I couldn’t remember to what we did that night. Why did we broke into argument? Honestly speaking I could not remember a single shit. I tried hard to recall but… to no avail.

My life was dull over the week. There is no up, there is no down. I cannot express, ‘coz I do not know what to think. For the past 7 days my mind was blank. I can’t focus. I can’t concentrate. I can’t like. I can’t hate. I can’t lift my muscle to smile. I am not at all happy or sad. Worse, sex and 林宇中 do not arouse me anymore. Either my mind is emptied I can’t think of anything, or my mind is too congested that I fail to think. I am confused.

At any rate, I could not find the inspiration to turn myself normal. Who is 林宇中? Who are they? Who are you? Who am I? No longer a mirror reflects my image. This entry is what you can expect from me who cannot think at all. I am dirtying my own blog with parts of my lost memories. I look awful down in the pile of mud. I’ve lost my style. In the extreme, I am lost in my own world. Weird, huh?

I thought watching Bleach can heal me. I also thought that by listening 林宇中 from close range, I can actually regain myself. I thought changing my blog template can refresh my mind. But I never thought not only had those failed to cure me, they did not at all attract my attention. Slowly I felt the negative elements surrounding me. Fatigue. Cold. And bored.

Is it possible that Jino did not buy 林宇中’s new album? Do you believe Jino stops watching 林宇中’s drama? Why is Jino not looking forward to attend 林宇中’s little concert in Genting? Jino is not supporting 林宇中? How is that possible?

Simple to say, he is not Jino. He became someone. Someone who is not him.

 
Well? What now? Has that night really changed me? Is it true I cannot return to myself when I cannot remember anything? Does it indicate that I need to recall everything in order to see myself? So you’re saying that I need to go through all the troubles to find out the problems that clouded me? It’s funny to think that I need to walk the opposite way when everyone is trying to forget their problems. Or can I not face the truth that our relationship has problem and I am in denial?

I have not confirmed what changes me. Am I tired of our relationship? Or am I sick of my unprogressive FYP? I don’t know. I only know that I am not the same and you don’t like it. I don’t like myself either. Whether the change is significant or not is not up to me to decide. Has the night taken me so backward? I will wait for your return and find a solution to my zombie-like life. I hate myself dragging my life like this.

I cannot continue writing as everything is so random I cannot piece them together at the moment. At times, I rather become emo than emotionless I am currently facing. It sucks. I am tired. Very, very, very tired.

 

 

[Jino] – A man’s not a man unless he knows how to shoot

Financially upset

One of the reasons why I love internet so much is because it keeps me occupied all the time I want.

Every now and then I am haunted when I idle. Many a times when I thirst to online, the emptiness builds in me often screws. Negatively my mind is dreaded to the unsightful side of me. The sorrows I hide deeply can no longer kept hidden. Looking at my own pathetic look kills my own appetite. While others have at least a punching bag, I hate to not have other ways to express myself besides here.

Before I had my baby no. 1 aka this computer and Streamyx settled in my house (before 2005), there's a habit of writing my emotions and feelings on strips of paper and collecting them in a large envelop. If it isn't mum who found the envelop in the stash of old cupboard, I would never notice its existence anymore.

I break into smiles when I read the strips, not because there are funny stories or embarrassing moments printed on them. I laugh at my innocence, probably nuisance when I was young. On how my brother framed me on the broken vase. On the sounding sessions in FKL Scouts. On my depression when I scored only 60% for my History paper in Form 3. I hate to recall myself being this childish in my teenager years but those were not something I can forget easily.

Of the 287 strips, there is a common problem I always grunt about. It's regarding my financial status. In Form 1 and 2, my pocket money was RM 30 a month. Back then, yumcha and movies were not popular as currently they are. My student life was pretty flat. I barely used a single cent in school, so I saved a lot in my Dragonball bank during the years. The unrest began when I reached Form 3. There was an increase to RM 100 a month because I need to stay back for scouts. At this stage I found myself rather hard to survive. Under influence of Starcraft and Warcraft with Mok and his gangs, RM 100 was not enough for daily cyber cafes. To think that I skipped my meals for games, obviously I was addicted.

"8th August (2004) - My pocket money left RM 30. Overnight in Ezone for 2 nights cost me RM 30. I can only go Ezone 1 more time" - one of the strips. You can clearly see where all my money went to.

I never imagine myself spending so much time and money for games. I hardly eat and drink just to satisfy my lust for Ragnarok coupons and bot my High Wizard. I became so poor that I was grateful with just plain rice and curry for RM 1 at Petaling Street before my tuition. I can't believe I was that crazy. Only if I was a bit more impervious.

The grievances I am airing may sound ridiculous. Despite the economic turmoils, my pocket money remains the same. Entertainment has been growing vastly. Unlike 8 years ago we have have Midvalley, GSC, bowling, cafes and sex (oops) ahead of us. With the currency value plummeting, there were times I asked for increment but was never bothered by my parents. I am close to fit the definition of financial crisis.

Don't mock me wei. RM 100 a weak is it?
Why would I do that? It's RM 100 a month.
WTF? What are you going to eat?
Generally I have RM 3 to spend a day. I had McD yesterday with you so I will have 'north-west wind' for today.
WTF? Why so kelian?
That's the life I'm going through.

That's just a part of my lies. The real story should be:

Generally I have RM 100 a month, about RM 3 a day. But if I deduct my Streamyx and Digi bills which mounts to RM 92.50, I have only RM 7.50 to survive on in a month. Practically I don't even have sufficient income to feed on cucumbers everyday.

Have you sit down and think of what to have for lunch with only 10 cents in wallet?
"Drink more water till my bladder burst" is all I can think of.

Have you hold your growling belly and say thousand times "I am not hungry"?
I always do.

Have you been in situation where you can only afford to watch them on table pool because you are short of 3 bucks?
"Ceh the game's boring" is all I can say.

"Tomorrow Chiau Thong is chasing me again for class fund. What am I gonna do?"

I need more money.
I have given you just good to eat but you spend them on non essentials such as internet and phone.

My mum said that. Do you see the difficulties to plea for an increment? There is no resist in her offer, so to avoid further constraint. Never mind her. Be happy with what you have and think hard how to live. Trying hard to be positive here.

Hei. That friend hor, she did some rebonding and colouring. Cost her RM 700++
*I vomit electric

There's sales in Padini, so I buy 2 shirts at RM 99.
Woah, great. *Looking at my RM 15 CNY shirt from Carrefour

Don't step on my shoes! It's RM 200!!!
Sorry my RM 49.90 after 50% discount shoes does not know the price.

Buy shoes again? You have 2 pairs already.
The old one was broken.
But it wasn't 3 months yet.
So? I walk a lot.
Don't you think you should save up and stop buying so much?
This is a pair of good shoes!
...

Mum may I have RM 20 to buy 3 pairs of socks?
Why? There're RM 10 for 5 pairs at pasar malam.
Fine I don't need you.

These pens and notepad are RM 7 altogether. Can I claim from you?
I will deduct from your debt.

I want to buy some shirts.
It's not CNY yet.
I just feel like it.
...

I want a platinum ring.
Go buy it yourself.
Aren't you giving me one?
You have to wait till next month if you are accepting a stainless steel ring.
I don't care. I am buying.
Go ahead.
*Argument

Let's watch Meatballs.
I have no money.
I don't care.
Then watch yourself.
OK. FINE! I AM WATCHING WITH OTHERS!
*Another argument

What happen to our plan to save RM 50 every month?
I don't have money to save.
Do you know that saving is very important? Bla bla bla...
I know but I don't have anything to save.
You really don't understand the importance of saving.
Yea yea...
*Pissed off and super argument

Shit, we lost our direction and now we're trapped in the jam. Petrol's running low too.
Good. I can see you longer.
I KNOW YOU DON'T HAVE TO PAY FOR PETROL, BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TO WASTE IT THIS WAY!
*Super duper argument

Testing... testing... Trying MMS with my new phone.
Sorry bro I sold my phone. Now I am using Nokia 1600, the cheapest phone in market without MMS.

Why do you take 7 copies of theSun?
For old newspaper. My side income.
Really?
Abo?

Why do you always drink ais kosong?
It's my favourite drink. I love the tasteless taste.
I hope you are right.
Me too.

How much angpao did aunty from Thai gave you?
RM 50.
Too much. Give me that. We have to return the same to her son.
>.<.

My school pants are tearing and loosening. Are we getting a new one?
You only have 2 more years to go. Bear with it.
I am 29" but the pants is 32" already.

Believe it or not, these are what I always have in mind, just to name a few. I withdraw my coins from Dragonball bank in desperation, risk some laughs and teases by friends. Imagine paying RM 6.25 McD with 63 10 cents coins. Or paying a tube of lubricant and a box of condom with 118 10 cents coins? I would as well like to avoid this but it's my desperate time for money. They didn't understand my situation, and I am fine with it. It's only fair to blame myself for being useless. All I ask is to stop sharing shreds of sympathy. I don't need sympathy. And don't laugh! Dragonball bank is my last resort. The last coin was spent on Genting trip last month already. Isn't it easy to predict my condition is equally bad as someone left in desert; vulnerable and soon to die.

Either way, I never blame my parents for the tough luck on pocket money as I fully aware the differences in my background with others. The weight of one cannot compare to that of the family. That is also the reason why I washed me hands off the issue. In another words, I am trained not to waste. Every cent counts. It is this that I believe I will grow stronger.

Sadly, I fell lonely and empty whenever I am financially burdened. I do not want to spend my entertainment on my parents money. Or any other's money. Should my life is coloured by other means, I can never see my self-satisfaction fulfilled. To escape the jealousy when looking at other people, it is done by my hands, my own effort.

Now do you understand why I wanted to work so badly?
Do you learn to why I claim RM 100 when the parking is only RM 50?
Do you now know why all your birthday, anniversary and Valentines presents are made out of worthless reusable materials?
Do you now understand why I always reject yumcha and movies and karaoke?
Do you now forgive me for 'stealing' my PTPTN for Langkawi?
Do you comprehend my kiamsiapness and calculative-like-aunty attitude?

It's not my intention to hit you with tantrums. There's no issue here. I plainly write out before I completely lose this piece of memory. If you are wondering the capricious me, all because I am too idle at home without internet.

There's no telling what could happen next with only RM 2 in my wallet for 27 days. And my desire for 林宇中's new album on coming Saturday. Every fun comes with a price. That's the least I learn in my family. Maybe free meal with in-laws tomorrow?

p/s: I still hutang my mum RM 306. She is deducting RM 20 every month from my pocket money.

Sorry for another boring post.

 

[Jino] - A man's not a man unless he knows how to shoot

Daidomon + Fade To Black

Related post:
The cry of birth
Blow job on my birthday
The not-romantic kayu's 22nd
Daidomon + Fade To Black

October 25 2009

If the title speaks everything, there's no room for elaboration. I assume everyone's dumb, including me, and keep on writing.

Cut the crap short. We have Daidomon for lunch. Yes. Edwin, my mum and me. It's not a rare moment anymore. She voluntarily invited Edwin to tag along for my belated birthday lunch, again. Her presence is the key to what I care the most. The last time we had together was my previous birthday in Shogun. And now this. May I safely assume that she's completely open to him? Can I bring him back and hang around at home as my lover? I dare not think so far but I am already satisfied with lunch. Thank you mum.

Honestly speaking, if it isn't the promotion, the food is never worth the price. Nothing in there to shout about. Or is it me the picky one?

Geisha in Daidomon

Mum then hunts a bag for her Bali trip and her new CNY clothes. Along the way we manage to spot Bleach: Fade To Black, movie 3 from one of the shops in Sg. Wang. It's my favourite anime and we watch at Edwin's house after dropping my mum back to my house.

The collection of Bleach movies.

After weeks of my birthday, I still receive presents. Thank you Piew, Shiau Li, Bui, Seng Seng (who else that I left out?).

Cute version of Hitsugaya from few of them

My birthday finale has finally ended. Shouldn't be expecting anymore celebration till next year.




[Jino] - A man's not a man unless he knows how to shoot

Of finals result and FYP

- removed -




[Jino] - A man's not a man unless he knows how to shoot

The not-romantic kayu's 22nd

Related post:
The cry of birth
Blow job on my birthday
The not-romantic kayu's 22nd
Daidomon + Fade To Black
October 12 2009
This isn't something that I could lie about. But do you know I always wish a quiet celebration, be it birthday or anniversary? Being one of the highlights in the crowd is not my style. I dislike the awkwardness being the main character while everyone is watching my movements. I don't like people looking at me.
Surprise isn't something I like for my day. Wouldn't you think a cake is sweeter if we bake it together? Don't you think the present can last longer if we wrap it together? The movie will never be any good without you. The point is, our experience enriches while we stay together. What's good if I only participate after the 4 seconds of surprise over the whole process? You get what I mean? To think that we can bake our cake or prepare our candle light dinner, shouldn't I involve to make it a celebration? Are you saying that a surprise is romantic while cooking together is not? Surprisingly, that's the concept I have about surprise. True, I never deny I am not romantic. If you like surprise so much, I will give you on your birthday XD.
Anyhow, surprise can be sweet, depending on who's the one I am dealing with.
My day started a normal routine. The morning is greeted by 林宇中's new song - 七天追到你, too good to brighten my day. Everyone knows I go crazy for him. Almost banged some cars from listening his song.
I reached uni sharp 10.12a.m. for some FYP works and then left for a hair cut.

Key chain from Greg. Ultraman is not part of present.

In Quick Cut, I requested for 林宇中's songs and I was so glad the lengzai Andrew who cut my hair, entertained my request.

Primary school boy hair

Stayed at his house for hours Facebook-ing and Bleach-ing, finally we left for TGI Friday and Surrogates in Pavilion. Not a big hoo haa bout the taste but the price is definitely a WOAH!!! Of 'coz it wasn't me paying the bill.

Jack Daniel's® Chicken & Shrimp

Jack Daniel's® Garlic Marinated Grilled Lamb Chop

I was so close to killing him when a bunch of TGI staffs together with the cake we baked earlier, appeared and sang me birthday song. Taken 250 damage from Hoof Stomp, I did not know where to hide my face. It's embarrassing yet in another corner of my heart I tasted the sweetness of his idea.

Homemade JE chocolate cheese cake

Surrogates - not bad. Doesn't mean very good.

We both knew TGI never serves portion that can stuff us enough. We had more supper in Pandan Indah and that marked the end of my birthday. I am more than glad that you make an effort to celebrate my birthday even though I am occupied with my FYP. Thank you very much. I had arguably the most meaningful birthday ever.

Normal pork ball me and Sarawak Kolo mee

A birthday necklace + card from none other

The next morning I woke up to find myself suffer major fever, flu, sneezing, coughing, headache, sore throat and backache. I doubt H1N1 but I rested at home for a day just in case.

And most importantly thanks to everyone who wished me on my birthday, be it Facebook messages, sms or calls:
Aderine Yap, Akmal Arshad, Alan Hor, Alice Chua, An Pei, Arvin Raj, Bee Ling, Cally Cheong, Carol Lai, Chang Hoong, Chiau Thong, Ching Yeng, Chu, Chun Kiat, Danny St James from LA, Denise Chin, Derick Liw, Dexter Loi, Edward Chin, Eugene Low, Gregory Wong, Hanson Wong, Jeff Chuah, Jeffrey Yap, Jennifer Ivy, Jia Hui, Jin Yu, Joelyn Pang, Johnsoon Thien, Justin Jia Jun, Kang Chien, Kar Pooi, Kenji from Vancouver, Kevin Yee, Kian Ti, KN, Koh, Kuhan, Kun Keat, Lam, Li Fah, Lik Wen, Lyon, Meng Zhen, Mohammad Nazreen, Mok, Muzani, Naqiuddin, Nicholas, Peter Wong, Phon, Piew, Pikey, RC, Ricky, Ronald Kumar, Ryan Mak, Ryan Syaoran, See Jeit, See Lok, Seng Khai, Seong Sym, Shawn Sim, Shee Lok, Shiau Li, Sia Soon Chit, Siau Chien, Simon, SK, Suet Yeng, Suzanne, Thiam Seng, Toch, Tsu Wern, Vincent Leong, Wai Kuan, Wai Yin, Wei Long, Wei Lun, Xiao Bai, Yen Ching, Yeow Poung, Yong, Zarif Jamil and Zaril Razak. Yin Koon, Chai Sing - edited and added 16 October 2009, Desmond - edited and added 20 October 2009

It's such a wonder that so many remember my birthday. Credits go to Facebook for sure. Sorry if I've missed out your name, I promise to put it here if I've missed any.

[Jino] - A man's not a man unless he knows how to shoot